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smarterthanone

Why are intelligent people so stupid?

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So there are lots of high IQ people having a hard time connecting with people, getting dates, making close relationships, etc.

If you are so smart, why don't you just do it? Like aren't you smart enough to see why you aren't having success and then do something about it?

I naturally have had a hard time with that stuff and have a high IQ, but I just like turn off things and turn on others and then I fit in just fine. In fact I dislike socializing with most really high IQ people because I find them so awkward even though I do love to talk about things with them, I just can't stand THEM. Part of it is they remind me of how I could be if I wasn't aware enough to not be that way.

Aren't they smart enough to realize "I cant geek out on math right now because the audience is not going to be receptive to this topic" yet I often see these intelligent people doing just that and people getting like "ugh, not feeling it". So shouldn't an intelligent person be able to see these patterns and then adjust?

Also if you are so intelligent, shouldn't you be super confident because you know you are the smartest in the room? Once I took my IQ test the first time, I looked at the stats and was like wow, typically in any normal setting I am the most intelligent person here, you know like in a bar or at a party or in a typical undergrad college classroom. Made me feel more confident. But it usually is the reverse for most intelligent people, like they often are not confident at all and let dumb people come up with the ideas instead of jumping in like "YO, thats just stupid bro".

Bit of a rant but for real I always wonder this. It seems rare for very intelligent people to break out of these characteristics.

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If I had to guess? Probably because our standards are high. I'm not talking about the socially awkward--that's got some more to it--but about why smart people in general struggle to make friends and spouses. Because we are looking for quality, nothing but what we're looking for will do. However we can overestimate and overvalue ourselves and aim too high or aim for something that either isn't real or is real only for the great men. 

For the socially awkward... Well, it may be a conflict of interest (mentally). On one hand they may want to socialize and "be normal", on the other they may dislike their company and want more, and another still may be sending red flags to warn the person that they're in bad company. Smart people think and sense a lot. Therefore I imagine if they betray their instincts they'll be a lot less confident and more awkward.

Personally, I'm used to be very awkward back when I wanted friends. However I didn't like the people around me and a part of me both knew I was hanging with the wrong crowd and another disrespected me for hanging low. I felt and acted a whole lot better when I stopped trying to make false friends with shared-hobby types and instead looked for only the most interesting and intelligent folks I could find. Mind you I don't have many friends but I'm a hell of a lot better off as someone who speaks his mind and actively attracts and repels people than I was trying to be obedient to authority and a social chameleon. 

However, for smart people in general, I don't know if my own experiences are common or rare. I assume smart people being awkward comes from a lack of respect for themselves and those around them--both justly and unjustly--while trying to pretend to be respectful and good. Basically I think there's more going on up stairs and the result is awkwardness in the face.

EDIT: I don't know about the geek types though. I never was much for numbers or science Latin/Greek but I loved to talk about history and politics. And if I wasn't getting a reception, I wasn't sending anymore signals. However again I don't know about other people, just me.

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9 hours ago, smarterthanone said:

So there are lots of high IQ people having a hard time connecting with people, getting dates, making close relationships, etc.

If you are so smart, why don't you just do it? Like aren't you smart enough to see why you aren't having success and then do something about it?

I naturally have had a hard time with that stuff and have a high IQ, but I just like turn off things and turn on others and then I fit in just fine. In fact I dislike socializing with most really high IQ people because I find them so awkward even though I do love to talk about things with them, I just can't stand THEM. Part of it is they remind me of how I could be if I wasn't aware enough to not be that way.

Aren't they smart enough to realize "I cant geek out on math right now because the audience is not going to be receptive to this topic" yet I often see these intelligent people doing just that and people getting like "ugh, not feeling it". So shouldn't an intelligent person be able to see these patterns and then adjust?

Also if you are so intelligent, shouldn't you be super confident because you know you are the smartest in the room? Once I took my IQ test the first time, I looked at the stats and was like wow, typically in any normal setting I am the most intelligent person here, you know like in a bar or at a party or in a typical undergrad college classroom. Made me feel more confident. But it usually is the reverse for most intelligent people, like they often are not confident at all and let dumb people come up with the ideas instead of jumping in like "YO, thats just stupid bro".

Bit of a rant but for real I always wonder this. It seems rare for very intelligent people to break out of these characteristics.

Could it be Dunning-Kreuger effect? In other words, dumb people act smart, smart people appear dumb because the dumb people don't get it? Or could it be that smart people expect more of dumb people and have just as much of a hard time wrapping their heads around lack of intelligence as dumb people have at accepting there are people smarter than them?

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9 hours ago, ofd said:

What's your score?

I've taken different tests over the past 5 years and consistently score about 140-145. Lowest ever was I think 135 and highest ever was 150. Not all tests are the same so that will provide variation as well as a 10 pt swing is normal variation as well on the same test. I just like to check up on it occasionally, make sure I am still sharp. Lol.

6 hours ago, Kohlrak said:

Could it be Dunning-Kreuger effect? In other words, dumb people act smart, smart people appear dumb because the dumb people don't get it? Or could it be that smart people expect more of dumb people and have just as much of a hard time wrapping their heads around lack of intelligence as dumb people have at accepting there are people smarter than them?

I think they also may just simply not have an interest in people. Whereas I think many intelligent people who do take an interest in people become psychologists or similar types of things. I don't know. But you would think essentially any intelligent person should be able to figure out how an average or low IQ person thinks.

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2 hours ago, smarterthanone said:

I think they also may just simply not have an interest in people. Whereas I think many intelligent people who do take an interest in people become psychologists or similar types of things. I don't know. But you would think essentially any intelligent person should be able to figure out how an average or low IQ person thinks.

Depends on how much "above" them they are. Your average shmuck is more intelligent than a cat, but yet we have spent how many years trying to figure them out. And you can't tell me there hasn't been a fair amount of interest, especially with all the money spent on it..

That said, i think "autism spectrum" is worth looking into, here. For the past few years, i've been considering the possibility that autism spectrum disorders, such as ADHD, are merely IQ indicators. Dunning-Kreuger effect making people assume that they're "stupid," when actual studies fail to take IQ suppressive factors in medication into account when studying them.

I've also noticed a autism-depression correlation, and i keep hearing about an IQ-depression correlation.

And, a psychiatry student i met online told me that usually the people who get into that field are people who try to help others since they couldn't help themselves. She was definitely such a case. But, i'm also giving myself away: i tried to help her.

Take those points how you will, even if they are anecdotal.

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If you have that mental ability you have to use it, otherwise you go quite completely mad. It's like a very athletic person might get wound up and angry if they don't exercise. Perhaps it would be more beneficial for them to stay at home in this example but they have to go out for a three hour run everyday.

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Life is like dungeons and dragons where Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma and Alignment (good, neutral, evil in character)are totally separate from one another.  You can have a brilliant, unwise, evil, uncharismatic hermit in that game and you can also have that in real life.

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