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Elizbaeth

Vanity, and Approaching "The Wall"

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This is an attempt to grapple with my own mortality, but a large part of this has to do directly with my vanity, and the feeling of my own SMV lowering. I know that there aren't too many women on here and this is an issue that I think more women can appreciate, but I felt that it was worth sharing, and that some of you would get something out of this. 

My 29th birthday is just around the corner, and there is much for me to think about. I the past three years I have had two pregnancies and have been tied down by breastfeeding two babies. The changes my body has gone through, and the hormonal changes and the mental and emotional changes and has been intense. It has been a lot in a relatively short amount of time. It has been an overall very positive experience, but there is no denying that I still feel a little shocked by all the changes, and it has hammered home the realization that I'm definitely going to one day die, and that I'm definitely going to grow old. 

It is this last part that has had me wide awake at night because it has uncovered insecurities that I didn't know existed in me, and they are strong. I don't think other people would notice that I look different now than before I first got pregnant, but there are things that I notice, and I have realized that there is this woman inside of me that is desperate to look forever 25, and the slightest hint of the appearance of aging has sent her into a mad panic. It is a stark fear, and I have even caught myself (to my surprise and horror) feeling anger when I see a younger, attractive woman. 

I think it's pretty obvious that it is an instinctual fear of being abandoned for a younger, hotter, higher SMV woman, and that I and my babies will be left out in the cold without hope or a way to fend for ourselves, and I must do whatever I can to stay attractive for as long as I can (or so my fear says), or love, attention, and resources will be cut off, and, basically = death. I feel full of doubt about the strength of my relationships and whether or not I have people around me who would want me as I am, and without a pretty face. I distinctly remember my granddad (who was the father figure in my life) ignoring me when I didn't look good (I think it was all unconscious), and conversely, showing interest in me and being pleased when I looked pretty. But my grandmother, his wife, must have felt the same anxiety I feel, because she had two facelifts and a neck lift, and had drawers and boxes filled with expensive creams and pills to keep her young and thin and youthful. My aunt, his daughter, had a nose job in her teens. My mother has recently had two necklifts, had the skin on her legs hacked off for a "more shapely curve," and has had breast implants. . . It's frightening to me. . . If she hates her own aging and appearance so much, will she be anxious if she sees me aging, too? She, too, sounds bitter and angry when she talks about younger, pretty women. My cousin told me (in that joking-but-not-joking manner) that she had hoped that I would be covered in stretch marks after my pregnancies, and she was disappointed that I wasn't hideous and stretched out and terribly scarred afterwards. 

I know that the only solution to this is to focus more on the good that I'm building with my family, and to use the emotional knowledge of my now only-ever lowering SMV as an opportunity to grow more and become a better person and grow more confidence. But I would never have guessed that I was as vain as this - that my looks and SMV have actually mattered to me my whole life - or have guessed at the primacy, and the depth, and the force of the desire to control attention. There is a very raw nerve there, and now I understand the evil queen in the fairytale that goes to such extreme and terrible lengths to keep her youth and beauty. 

I have no desire to hold on to this fear. It is life-killing and frightening and evil. But I did not realize that it was even there within me, and I guess have to thank my impending encroachment to "The Wall" to thank for revealing it to me. There is a small feeling of relief, however, amidst the fear. I'm glad I'm feeling the fear now, and that its so strong. I means I can change. I see how my mom and grandmother have lived in constant terror and anxiety about their looks, and I can escape that fate. I don't have to follow. I can know what it's like to be free. 

But "The Wall" is not a trivial thing. It is an eye-opener, and I had no idea that it would be such a paradigm shift to confront my own lowering SMV. 

 

 

 

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Step 1. Eat as much high-quality collagen as you can.

https://blog.bulletproof.com/collagen-reverse-aging/

I buy it straight from Asprey. I'm essentially a cult-follower at this point: https://www.bulletproof.com/collagen-protein-net-wt-16-oz#prr

Step 2. Learn about your hormones and your gut biome. I recommend Beyond Wellness Radio a lot. It is two doctors that get together to talk about "functional" medicine, and they hammer the importance of the gut and hormones every single podcast. I understand that you're married and obviously not looking for new men, but if you can pheromone men, you won't be able to keep them off of you, even if you're not as hot as the next girl.

(Note: Men, this works the same way in the opposite direction. Get your testosterone up and you won't know how to deal with all the texts you get from girls.)

I would also scroll through Dave Asprey's Bulletproof Podcast, because he often has guests on that address issues relevant to this.

Step 3. Learn about nutrition in relation to Step 2. It turns out that the nutrition "education" that we've received through the school system, the media, and even from our own medical system, is so inside-out and upside-down that it gives you the opposite of what you need to know. There are certain foods that will wreck havoc on your endocrine system (example: soy), and there are others that do wonders for it (grassfed butter, pastured eggs, coconut oil, etc.). Simply getting your diet worked out can do wonders for your whole existence, including beauty.

Step 4. Mitochondria, mitochondria, mitochondria. Mitochondria are the power plants of our cells, and the rate at which they break down is about the rate at which we age. Anything that you can do to boost your mitochondria is good for you in all ways, aging and beauty included. Intermittent fasting, HIIT training, cold water exposure (I recommend looking into the Wim Hof Method), proper sleep--all these things will help keep your mitochondria healthy.

Starting article for mitochondria: https://blog.bulletproof.com/5-antiaging-secrets-for-your-mitochondria/

I know it's not the popular thing around these boards to not accept aging as a deterministic landslide that we must give whole-hearted acceptance to the second it rears its ugly head, but the reality of it is beauty is a sign of health. After your body has taken care its needs, it can use the extra energy to make you beautiful. I think it is a much better usage of time and energy to focus on things like diet, gut, hormones, and exercise rather than makeup, liposuction, facelifts, and breast implants.

I think women who do plastic surgery have been sold a bill of goods. Looking like plastic doesn't make someone look more attractive--it makes them look like an alien.

(Note: I think for the most part, those 22 year-old bimbos turn out to not be as attractive once you get their makeup and clothes off. Maybe I don't think like most men, but for me, a hotness score only really counted when a girl was naked and without makeup.)

Now, of course, all that being said about physical beauty, you've very clearly pointed out that you've been conditioned to feel that you don't have any value unless you're beautiful. This might be something a therapist is going to have to get you through, because it's not something rational for you; it's something beaten in deep down. Just as practice, have you thought of not spending so much effort on making yourself look attractive and see how your husband and others react to you? I can see from your avatar you're very attractive, and I'm guessing you spend a lot of time making sure that's the case. Maybe try doing it a little less, and see how you handle with your new look. You're probably very used to people interacting with you based on your attractiveness, so become a little less attractive (by makeup/clothes/perfume standards) and see if you can learn how to handle people interacting with your new look.

Also, regarding your age, my wife is 35 and I'm 31. I probably could have married some knock-out 22 year old bimbo, but I didn't. I needed someone with a certain threshold of intelligence and wisdom. You're a mother, so this is even more important. Additionally, if you get your body system down, I don't see any reason why 29 needs to be "the wall".

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I am neither old nor a woman, but these are my thoughts on the matter.

Your fears may be correct. You mentioned you married and impregnated before self-knowledge so there's a decent chance you married the wrong man and have terrible friends. If that's the case your body is basically warning you that you will almost inevitably have a terrible second-half of your existence--in which case the best you can do is teach your sons what not to do and who not to marry so they don't make the same mistakes.

Alternatively you may only be partially correct. Your husband may not have chosen you (initially) for your virtues but he came to find and like them, in which case I strongly recommending focusing on being a good woman/wife/mother so that your husband doesn't require sex to "tolerate you" (which honestly is most men's relationship with most women; women are not inherently attractive because their personalities and modes of being/thinking conflict with men's. From men's ability to compartmentalize our problems/issues to being more "rational" than emotional, there's quite a few negatives on our end to being straight. Nothing against you, just letting you know that by default a typical woman must be somewhat sexy to compensate for being a typical woman) --which is a pretty bad and sad thing to be depending on, right? This is where S.K. and understanding men comes in. Otherwise you're screwed (and not in a good way).

Therefore, since I have no idea who you are, just a few bits and pieces, I recommend capitalizing on your best qualities (like, presumably, being a good housewife, mother, being supportive--but not enabling--, rational--relative to the average trigger-happy woman at least--, patient, composed (don't know how many men want/require this but I can say a woman who isn't easily miffed is easily in the 7+ territory even if she's plain--no need to be hot when you have great personality traits though being both makes you a 9+!) and staving off the physically debilitating part of age through regular exercise (not this surgery crap and as far as I know makeup is literally poisonous so I wouldn't recommend that except for extremely special occasions) so that you can get around without hobbling about and falling over yourself (it's a lot easier to be fit and do things under 30 than over 30, and 40+ is a nightmare if Stef's anecdotes about how he HAS to work out to keep remotely fit is any indicator).

In short: be a wonderful personality and source of love, comfort, and wisdom and you will have nothing to fear. It doesn't hurt to exercise because that will keep you healthy for more of your old life and may extend your "SMV" for what that's worth (which may frankly not be much because men DO lose testosterone as they have children, raise children, and age. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if he just isn't sexually interested in anything outside the internet after a certain point and that might be a good thing because it frees you from having to look younger than you are and also it means you two can bond as human beings rather than as flesh suits--although that being said it's not mutually exclusive. A man and woman who love each other can bond both as souls and as bodies, I'm just saying without stress on the latter the former might be easier and better developed. Kinda like how a blind person's sense of hearing might be extra-powered). 

However I didn't account for what your husband and friends may be like. Obviously you don't want to be the one doing all the work. Make sure your husband stays fit (enough to please you, do his job, and raise his children) too since I'm sure you'll be far more motivated if he's keeping pace with you rather than lagging behind. Also I don't know what your friend-circle looks like but if you haven't done some house cleaning post S.K. then sooner is better because the last thing you want is Iago or Jezebel poisoning your, your children's, or your husband's ears and badly influencing them. 

Again, I repeat, I am neither a woman nor old and have no experience with women nor children. I am 19 and a virgin. However I am pretty damn sure this basic advice isn't far from the truth given how few families do it and how the few that do do it tend to do well. 

EDIT: Important question: what do you mean by "vanity"? That's a word that gets thrown around and now has some vagueness in it's meaning. I'm asking because vanity=/= fear of being ugly/desire to maintain attractiveness.

Edited by Siegfried von Walheim

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@Dylan Lawrence Moore

@Siegfried von Walheim

Thanks guys for your advice and words. 

@Dylan Lawrence Moore I find your health advice pretty useful. I do enjoy living healthy and think that maintaining health is more valuable than most medicine. 

On 1/13/2018 at 1:08 PM, Dylan Lawrence Moore said:

Step 3. Learn about nutrition in relation to Step 2. It turns out that the nutrition "education" that we've received through the school system, the media, and even from our own medical system, is so inside-out and upside-down that it gives you the opposite of what you need to know. There are certain foods that will wreck havoc on your endocrine system (example: soy), and there are others that do wonders for it (grassfed butter, pastured eggs, coconut oil, etc.). Simply getting your diet worked out can do wonders for your whole existence, including beauty.

I got into nutrition in my teenage years. I had some pretty extreme cystic acne, and the only thing that worked was a radical change in my diet and lifestyle. 

On 1/13/2018 at 1:08 PM, Dylan Lawrence Moore said:

Now, of course, all that being said about physical beauty, you've very clearly pointed out that you've been conditioned to feel that you don't have any value unless you're beautiful. This might be something a therapist is going to have to get you through, because it's not something rational for you; it's something beaten in deep down. Just as practice, have you thought of not spending so much effort on making yourself look attractive and see how your husband and others react to you? I can see from your avatar you're very attractive, and I'm guessing you spend a lot of time making sure that's the case. Maybe try doing it a little less, and see how you handle with your new look. You're probably very used to people interacting with you based on your attractiveness, so become a little less attractive (by makeup/clothes/perfume standards) and see if you can learn how to handle people interacting with your new look

I rarely wear more makeup than undereye concealer (I rarely get good sleep so I almost always have dark circles under my eyes). My husband thinks I've very physically attractive, even though he sees me in sweats and no makeup 95% of the time. I just get this large overwhelming anxiety at times about my appearance. I know it's from my family. There are lots of eating disorders in the every woman in my mother's family, and it's just a very deep problem that they all sort of pass around to each other and no one ever gets better. If I'm happy, well-rested, and therefore thinking clearly, I feel ridiculous for even having these anxieties, but when they flare up they are fierce. I certainly look fine, and even if I were to be 60 years old, I should be happy to be healthy and then leave it at that. 

 

On 1/13/2018 at 3:47 PM, Siegfried von Walheim said:

Again, I repeat, I am neither a woman nor old and have no experience with women nor children. I am 19 and a virgin. However I am pretty damn sure this basic advice isn't far from the truth given how few families do it and how the few that do do it tend to do well. 

You have wonderful advice. Thank you. 

 

On 1/13/2018 at 3:47 PM, Siegfried von Walheim said:

EDIT: Important question: what do you mean by "vanity"? That's a word that gets thrown around and now has some vagueness in it's meaning. I'm asking because vanity=/= fear of being ugly/desire to maintain attractiveness.

Well, what I meant by "vanity" is the disproportionate value in something that is, ultimately, valueless, and feeling as if I have value for something that is fairly empty. Vanity. Poof. Just a puff of air and nothing else. 

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50 minutes ago, Elizbaeth said:

I rarely wear more makeup than undereye concealer (I rarely get good sleep so I almost always have dark circles under my eyes). My husband thinks I've very physically attractive, even though he sees me in sweats and no makeup 95% of the time. I just get this large overwhelming anxiety at times about my appearance. I know it's from my family. There are lots of eating disorders in the every woman in my mother's family, and it's just a very deep problem that they all sort of pass around to each other and no one ever gets better. If I'm happy, well-rested, and therefore thinking clearly, I feel ridiculous for even having these anxieties, but when they flare up they are fierce. I certainly look fine, and even if I were to be 60 years old, I should be happy to be healthy and then leave it at that. 

Maybe it's not a beauty thing but a mid-life crisis thing? I.e. you're afraid of decaying and dying. If you have a bad relationship with your parents/grandparents, it may also be a fear of looking like them. I'm taking a reach but it's something I noticed with my mother.

Do you see a therapist about this? I think resolving this could not only make you happier but a much better mother in the long run. I'm sure your sons will have something in the vicinity at some point (like maybe a girlfriend who cares a bit too much about looks or maybe even they themselves feeling insecure--probably won't happen if you raise them to be reasonably confident but if it's trend in your family lines it may reoccur genetically). 

50 minutes ago, Elizbaeth said:

You have wonderful advice. Thank you. 

You're welcome. 

50 minutes ago, Elizbaeth said:

 

Well, what I meant by "vanity" is the disproportionate value in something that is, ultimately, valueless, and feeling as if I have value for something that is fairly empty. Vanity. Poof. Just a puff of air and nothing else. 

On the other end maybe the problem if "you fighting yourself." Physical attractive is not nothing. Far from it. It's an indicator your value as a woman. Not the only indicator but it's 99% of people's first impressions and passing glances.

And when I say "value as a woman" I don't mean just sexually/fertility wise. I mean looking good implies having self-discipline; it sometimes implies moral virtue because, rightly or wrongly, I think people are conditioned to see physically attractive people as being morally superior to ugly (by their own fault not genetically though I'm sure there's exceptions) people. 

While I'm sure beauty can only imply so much about someone, I do know it's a good offhand indicator of a person's self-worth, self-confidence, and potentially a "voucher" against insecurity, laziness, and some other undesirable behavioral traits. 

Personally I knew growing up that in many ways "the clothes make the man", i.e. men are judged by how well they keep themselves and the authorities will often act accordingly. I kept clean and dressed decently, especially in school, in order to avoid that terrible "blacklisting" many male students get by (often female) teachers. Now I know there's more to my own "vanity" than just wanting to impress authorities and stay out of trouble (like the white kids that look like Eminem or the black kids that look like anal lovers) because I'm sure part of it is me being a male wanting to impress available females as opposed to being "rejected", even by females I had no sexual interest in (and I had no sexual interested until I was around 13 and not really until 14-15). 

Possible you also have a certain "urge to impress" and "fear of social rejection" based on looks. I'm not saying it's totally rational (I mean my generally honest behavior probably had a lot to do with how authorities treated me as well) but it's not totally off either (because there are lots of superficial people and looks DO have some character implications). 

I might be taking another reach but I think an alternative might be you simply fearing rejection via bad character (as implied by lack of self-maintenance). That's not far from what you seem to think it is. And my solution is to try to figure out WHY you care about your looks and come to value them because they are wonderful to have (especially if you have to work to maintain them). I don't know if I said this but forget makeup in general; most of what makeup projects can be projected naturally depending on the mood you're in anyway. I think taking care of yourself + realizing why your looks matter (as opposed to either saying they're mere smoke and mirrors or all 100% of everything) and realizing why you're anxious will assuage your concerns.

Also don't be afraid to be honest with your husband. Men hate nags but we hate dishonest (which includes not saying anything) women far more. I'm sure if he has any sense at all he's noticed something though, and he may have some helpful advice for you. More helpful than FDR possibly given he's your man after all. Also in general men love to help women they like so long as they're praised/rewarded for it, so there's that aspect in case you didn't know. Men naturally enjoy knighting because there's both a thrill and a hunger for a reward. So long as you aren't constantly needy or needy for things he can't solve (because first and foremost I think men look to "solve", therefore if he thinks he's powerless he might get frustrated if you keep asking him for help in a matter he thinks he can't do anything about) I think being needy at all is more than fine. Men get bored and like to know they're doing something to keep their wives. I assume vice versa too, since men have problems and like to be helped though I'd assume the kinds of problems we have and the help we want is somewhat different since if it's external we can usually do it ourselves. 

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Perhaps you can focus on something that's not related to pulchritude, like a talent such as singing, dancing, giving good advice, etc.

Pulchritude doesn't define intelligence or how you are as a human being. Take it from a Plain Jane oddball like myself who's going to hit the big 3-0 next month (and who can pass as a child, which is embarrassing sometimes).

From fifth grade to my senior year in high school, kids picked on me for my eccentric behavior and lack of physical beauty, things that even my mother picked on me for.

It was tough, and there was no one around who could really help, but for some reason, I was able to find and value my inner beauty. (Which is something my mother can't take credit for, but since she's so vain, I don't think she wants to, but that's fine with me.) I'm intelligent, independent, and creative. Years later, I was blessed with a friend who likes me for me and doesn't see as a walking laughingstock or as a problem to fix. 

In other words, you can't let society define beauty for you; you have to create your own version of beauty. 

While it's hard to be different sometimes, I like being me. If I tried to be something I'm not, then I'll feel phony. As someone who's on the "lowly" spectrum, I don't have much to lose since I don't have many obligations. (I keep to myself a lot.)

By focusing on your inner talents, you're setting a good example for your kids because they may face pressure from others to do something they may not want to do, and they have to learn not to give in. 

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Ok, you ladies worry too much about little beauty things and not actual beauty. Youth is only important if a man wants to make babies. Presumably, your man made babies with you and so that is not something on his mind any more. Other than that, youth is overrated in terms of beauty, you don't need to look 25. I personally think women are their most attractive, just pure physically, in their 30's to early 40's. Guys don't care about a few wrinkles and stuff like that. Guys just don't want an obese woman or the "im old im cutting all my hair off" haircut. Also don't dress like you are old. These three things are what make women look old and unattractive. I mean other than that, if you were attractive before you still will be.

I would suggest lifting heavy weights at the gym like a mens training program and NOT doing the typical "girl workout". Heavy weight lifting is the best way to keep away flab and such, and no you can't turn into the she hulk by accident lol. Men have much more testosterone and they have a very hard time doing it on purpose.

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I’m much older (43) and have never had kids, but I can tell you that what makes me now realize that I am more “beautiful” than those younger and hotter is the fact that I have completely changed with very little self knowledge. I have changed into a woman who values and appreciates my man and puts him first. When insecurities and problems arise, we sit down and calmly, maturely talk about them and make the effort to change and acknowledge the other person’s feelings. No more back stabbing, disrespecting, emotionally immature behavior that only destroys a relationship...we are not perfect and sometimes I have to be the bigger person and set the example of how to treat someone you care about, but this is by far the best relationship I have ever had due to the fact that I am constantly analyzing my behavior and apologizing for my wrong behavior and that opens the lines of communication and brings us closer. I know that the chances of him finding a woman that actually apologizes and treats him with respect and appreciation is slim to none. Sad to say, but so true when I analyze relationships around us, as well as our past highly dysfunctional relationships. Take pride in the fact that you are a much more beautiful woman than the average woman based on the fact that you are a better person.

Those are my highly uneducated two cents LOL

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On 1/16/2018 at 10:03 PM, smarterthanone said:

Ok, you ladies worry too much about little beauty things and not actual beauty. Youth is only important if a man wants to make babies. Presumably, your man made babies with you and so that is not something on his mind any more. Other than that, youth is overrated in terms of beauty, you don't need to look 25. I personally think women are their most attractive, just pure physically, in their 30's to early 40's. Guys don't care about a few wrinkles and stuff like that. Guys just don't want an obese woman or the "im old im cutting all my hair off" haircut. Also don't dress like you are old. These three things are what make women look old and unattractive. I mean other than that, if you were attractive before you still will be.

I would suggest lifting heavy weights at the gym like a mens training program and NOT doing the typical "girl workout". Heavy weight lifting is the best way to keep away flab and such, and no you can't turn into the she hulk by accident lol. Men have much more testosterone and they have a very hard time doing it on purpose.

I missed this comment. Yeah, I think we do worry too much about it. And I also want to apologize for accusing you of being too concerned with a young hottie. I had not read this, and I was probably just projecting onto you, anyways. 

 

I got really into weight-lifting at one point. I saw amazed at how well my body shaped up. My only complaint was that it really seemed too aggressive and strict for me to want to be dedicated to it. I really enjoy zenning out and getting in tough with my body and sort of recharging in a meditative way, so I generally do prefer running and yoga. But yeah. Weightlifting was incredible. 

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On 7/6/2018 at 1:07 PM, Anne Guillory said:

I’m much older (43) and have never had kids, but I can tell you that what makes me now realize that I am more “beautiful” than those younger and hotter is the fact that I have completely changed with very little self knowledge. I have changed into a woman who values and appreciates my man and puts him first. When insecurities and problems arise, we sit down and calmly, maturely talk about them and make the effort to change and acknowledge the other person’s feelings. No more back stabbing, disrespecting, emotionally immature behavior that only destroys a relationship...we are not perfect and sometimes I have to be the bigger person and set the example of how to treat someone you care about, but this is by far the best relationship I have ever had due to the fact that I am constantly analyzing my behavior and apologizing for my wrong behavior and that opens the lines of communication and brings us closer. I know that the chances of him finding a woman that actually apologizes and treats him with respect and appreciation is slim to none. Sad to say, but so true when I analyze relationships around us, as well as our past highly dysfunctional relationships. Take pride in the fact that you are a much more beautiful woman than the average woman based on the fact that you are a better person.

Those are my highly uneducated two cents LOL

I appreciate this response. I asked my mother a while ago how she felt about getting older, and she told me that every smile line was proof of a happy life and getting older just means you're not dead yet, so you should be happy to see your aging reflection. I didn't believe her, though, because it was a totally cliche answer and she's had multiple cosmetic surgeries. 

 

I did want to say that, in the past few months, I think I've really felt happy with the way I've changed my thoughts and feelings about aging. I no longer feel anxiety. I feel lovely, and I am not afraid of changes in my face. At first, I really felt like someone was stealing my face from me. And I was angry. Like, I felt betrayed by biology, because I did not agree to these changes and felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. My face was the one I had always known. It was frightening to think that I was embarking on a whole new type of growth, where my face would change into something that I did not know and wasn't sure would be welcome. But my thoughts have changed and my feelings have changed, and I'm really happy with this. I have been thinking of growing older as a way to meet my future self, and that it is a kind, generous thing to treat my present self with respect and generosity of feelings, because I would not wish to harm this person I could become. I feel much more relaxed: I feel like I actually have a right to get older, now, and that it's not some weird-ish type of sin to lose my youth, but it is actually a good thing, and my feelings regarding my aging are good barometers for how well my soul is growing. 

 

Honestly I really just wish I had a good mental picture of what a woman was supposed to grow into. All we care about now is how hot a woman is, and/or is she can bust balls in a killer career. Even the moms around me talk about being a mother and wife like it's something they'll "agree" to do for a short time, but that it's totally beneath them and it's simply a favor they're doing for their husbands until they can "break free" and be a killer career-woman again. 

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On 7/26/2018 at 12:44 PM, Elizbaeth said:

I missed this comment. Yeah, I think we do worry too much about it. And I also want to apologize for accusing you of being too concerned with a young hottie. I had not read this, and I was probably just projecting onto you, anyways. 

 

I got really into weight-lifting at one point. I saw amazed at how well my body shaped up. My only complaint was that it really seemed too aggressive and strict for me to want to be dedicated to it. I really enjoy zenning out and getting in tough with my body and sort of recharging in a meditative way, so I generally do prefer running and yoga. But yeah. Weightlifting was incredible. 

Yeah I mean there is this I think shes 54 fit fit bikini body woman I see around sometimes and I definitely hit on her and she could definitely get me home for a good screw. No doubt. lol. Havent seen her in a long time since she got a different job.

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On 8/7/2018 at 4:40 PM, smarterthanone said:

Yeah I mean there is this I think shes 54 fit fit bikini body woman I see around sometimes and I definitely hit on her and she could definitely get me home for a good screw. No doubt. lol. Havent seen her in a long time since she got a different job.

Dude, you lost me there. I don't know what woman you're referencing and didn't know she was even in the conversation. 

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On 8/9/2018 at 12:25 PM, Elizbaeth said:

Dude, you lost me there. I don't know what woman you're referencing and didn't know she was even in the conversation. 

I am saying she works out at the gym and has a tight diet and is able to attract much younger men. And even at her age, if I was her husband and already had kids I wouldn't be looking at other women.

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