I wanted to talk about self-erasure. Has anybody else had problems with this?
There's so many things I want to change/accomplish in my life, but for whatever reason I just refuse to actually commit myself to the actions I would need to take to achieve them. I'll sort of break two big ones down here:
1. Social & Relationships:
I have very few friends currently, and I'm starting to realize that the friends I do have may not be the best people for me. But when I think about trying new things, or going to meetup groups, or anything like that I feel a bit anxious and never will myself to do it. Then I get upset with myself for not making decisions to change, but that doesn't deter me from continuing to not change.
2. My Own Business:
This honestly goes hand-in-hand with the social issues I face. I can build websites, and I want to run my own business doing freelance web design for local businesses. I KNOW I can build pretty good websites and that those websites would help the businesses generate more sales. But when it comes to SELLING the service I struggle motivating myself to make sales call.
I had been thinking out loud about these issues earlier and I had this train of thought:
And then I realized that maybe that's it. Maybe, for whatever reason, I just don't want people to even know I exist? I don't know, but I'm very frustrated and this issue is really stagnating my entire life and I need help.
Read some Anthony Robbins or watch some of his youtube videos. I like and find him very inspiring.
It gets beat to death but, you must make drastic fucking action in your life, learn, tweak, adjust, and come back at it again until you get the results you want in this life.
Basically, it sounds like the biggest problem is fear. You go into a new situation, you are afraid, you kick off that fight or flight mechanism, and you either fight (make the approach or sales call) or you run (disengage). For me, I have different levels of fears so, for starters, when that fight or flight mechanism kicks off, I take drastic action. Let me explain.
I fear being a employee forever so, I am doing everything I can to accumulate knowledge, self knowledge, education, explore my consciousness, and generate income so that I can be self employed. Also, when I work different jobs, I only take jobs whereby the skill sets I am acquiring are transferable else where in my own endeavors and thus makes me more marketable. Also, I am single. I fear being single forever so, when I see a beautiful woman, I approach. Needless to say, I get rejected and turned down quite a bit but, I also date a lot more, I have more sex, and hookups. It is still not easy. If I don't approach immediately, I will talk myself out or just bitch out. Furthermore, I am getting older too. Friends are getting married. People are having kids or busy with careers. Approaching people allows me the opportunity to network, to generate new leads, prospects, potential business partners, friends, and yes, dates. It is scary. Something I am learning to do is just embrace the fear and meet it head on.
If you look at successful businesses like airbnb and uber, these are disruptions, and they save people time. If you make a pen that is better, more efficient, more value offered, and added, this is going to sell well. It will add value. You make money. It is win win. I know your plan is not the pen but, you just need to start taking action. A good read, "Tools for Titans," by Tim Ferris is a great read. The forward includes Arnold talking about someone coming up to him saying how "self made" he is. Arnold corrects him saying, "I stood on the shoulders of titans."
We all get help. No idea is original. airbnb, uber, and fb, etc were all done before. The thing is we take ideas from everywhere and someone executes on the idea. They thread the needle and pull the trigger. you can too man.
Please keep me posted on how your journey goes my friend. I am excited to hear more.