My partner and I were talking about therapists and psychotherapy etc and she said the basic idea of it is messed up. She said the reason we need healing is because our emotional needs weren't met by our parents. So we are trying to get them met as adults. Some of these basic needs are to feel valued, important, cared about.
But a therapist will stop helping you if you stop paying them. So how important are you going to feel, how cared about and what do they value...you or your money?
I like Alice Miller's idea of an enlightened witness more and more these days.
BTW I was just writing an email to Daniel Mackler. I feel fortunate that he and I have been in touch a fair amount in the past month or so. He is the closest thing I have to a peer right now. Though we don't agree on everything. We do both feel strongly about child abuse and see the cause and effect relationship.
Anyhow I remember how he said he used to help clients who couldn't afford to pay much. I admire him for that. I understand though cuz I have helped so many people for free. Sometimes I have gotten paid but it isn't really money that motivates me. I need to feel valued and there are other ways to help me feel valued, like reading my website, applying or trying to apply my ideas and giving me emotional support when I need it - which is pretty often lately.
But back to Daniel. First before I forget I have created my own page on him and his work
Ok so now that I've shown that I want to share this. After I wrote Daniel just now I thought I might send him some money cuz I value him. But I decided not to do that because I don't want our relationship to be based on money. I don't want him to be motivated by money to help me and keep validating me - as he has been doing in his emails pretty much from the star.
As my partner said that is now how we were designed to work. She used a Marshall Rosenberg term - natural giving. In other words, it is natural for us, innate, to feel good when we help others.
So yeah, that's my two cents on all that.
tfr thanks for reading
oh, one more note. i have asked a lot of people if their therapist would cry if they killed themselves. the majority, in fact the vast majority, have said no.