Hi everybody...wondering if I could get your help or thoughts. After years of struggling to persuade anyone on the topics we hold dear, I have sought out books on psychology to try and figure out new approaches (as well as, of course, listen to Freedomain and read the board ). I was curious if anybody had come across any great books or resources on persuasion strategies and if they have tried them when discussing politics, religion, parenting, the family, etc. and noticed any positive effects.
For instance, I have been reading Richard Wiseman's "59 Seconds". On persuasion, he suggests (based on research by psychologists):
- if you are in a group, pick one person to focus on
- take time to learn and chat about their interests
- make/admit to mistakes, but only if being seen as too perfect
- ask for small favors from the person
- throw bits of humor into a conversation
- don't use words or technical language that the person will most likely not understand
- don't talk negatively (or gossip) about others as those thoughts will be assigned to you
- focus the favors you provide to strangers, then ask quickly for a return favor
I think a part of me will never let go of the idea that reason and evidence will win the day when arguing, but that is to neglect the reason and evidence of unconscious impulses that drive most people's responses. I am wondering if we should put more effort in to the way in which we interact with others, even if it may be a bit manipulative...or is it and would that be a bad thing?