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S1988 last won the day on March 18

S1988 had the most liked content!

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  1. S1988

    Why are intelligent people so stupid?

    You can say that again.
  2. S1988

    Working 12 hrs a day... need help

    That's great to hear. I wish you well in your healing.
  3. S1988

    Why are intelligent people so stupid?

    My older sister's a PhD. student, yet she never questions what Queen Mother says no matter how ridiculous or contradictory it sounds. Like she says, "Be independent," and then gets mad when I disagree with her or do something that doesn't align with her views. I don't get it. Why tell me to do something, then get mad at me for doing it? One of the reasons I can't have her in my life is that sometimes she doesn't make an ounce of sense. I'm a lowly college dropout, and I'm very adapt at noticing contradictions because I was raised with much hypocrisy and double-standards. On the other hand though, everyone does something stupid sometimes regardless of their intelligence; it's human. I have a tendency to fall for scams, but I'm becoming more diligent about that.
  4. S1988

    Help Me Figure This Out

    @Elizbaeth What if you come across the opposite scenario, like having a daughter who's plain or even has a deformity? I can relate to not being a beauty queen and my peers not letting me forget that. Even my own mother picked on me for my physical flaws. It's a wonder I don't have body dysmorphia. I guess it had to do with the fact that I focus on my inner beauty, like my intelligence and creativity. If you have a daughter (and this goes for your sons, too), you can set an example of what true beauty is rather than letting society, peers, and the media define it by appreciating inner talents and maybe honing new ones. Perhaps, you can teach them some self-defense quips in case someone says something mean about their appearance such as "Well, since you think I'm ugly, don't look at me. Simple." or "I don't like you either, so I guess the feeling's mutual." (I never said these myself, but they're handy to have, and it'll be interesting to see how one reacts.)
  5. Yeah, I'm surprised you still keep in contact with your family considering how they treated you. (I read your story in another thread.) If you want to do that, I guess that's your choice; I can't be around my family, and they're somewhat tame compared to yours, but they're toxic enough. I don't have children since I want to dedicate my life to "parenting" myself. The good thing about that is at least I don't have kids for them to prey on. It's bad enough when they play their games with me, though I barely hear from them, thank goodness. I like what you're doing; all parents should put their kids first.
  6. Craigslist is one site you can search. That's where I got some of my freelancing jobs. But, you have to be careful since it also has scams. Other freelancing/work from home sites you can search are Upwork and Rat Race Rebellion.
  7. Have you thought of freelancing from home? That way, you wouldn't be limited to your territory. You can be a remote programmer.
  8. What about loneliness felt even when not alone? One can be surrounded by others and still feel lonely, and to me, that's the worst type of loneliness. I should know because I've been there and don't want to go back.
  9. I don't have statistical evidence, but I'm a loner, and I'm still here even though I been demonized for my loner lifestyle for most of my life like it was a disease or something.
  10. I guess it depends on the child. I was raised by a totalitarian/abusive parent, and I didn't adopt a hedonistic lifestyle, basically because as an avid reader, I educated myself on the effects of drugs, and the facts scared me too much to even want to try them. While I wasn't a saint (no one is), I'm glad to say that I never did anything egregious in my life. Seriously, the worst thing I did in school was stay after for detention for being late. I've never been suspended, and I've never got involved in a bad crowd, and even with my borderline goody-two-shoes record, my mother (among other people) still found something to nitpick me for. I wasn't "pretty" enough, I'm "evil" for struggling with certain school subjects, I'm "too quiet," which was like the worst "sin" of all. Well, one of the reasons why I did keep to myself was that many of the kids were jerks and degenerates, and I didn't want to associate with those who were bullies and/or bad influences. But, instead of being praised for being basically a good kid, I was demonized for not being social enough. A teacher once asked me to stay after school to discuss my quiet behavior, and my mother got mad at me more than the bullies, especially when I struggled with standing up to them. (No duh, you can't scold a child for showing anger, then wonder why they have a hard time standing up for themselves.) She even forced me to go to prom when I didn't care to go (it was okay, by the way, but I don't think it would've made any difference that I didn't go), then she accused me of dating the guy she set me up with. (Which wasn't true, and she never apologized for it.) I think my less-than-social lifestyle protected me (and still protects me) from a lot of bad things. But, no. Instead of praising me for staying out of trouble, many adults managed to condemn peccadilloes/non-issues while others got away with worse. Maybe I am a rebel in a sense because years later, I finally got the courage to stand up to Queen Mother, something my sycophantic older siblings would probably never do. (She's a bigger bully than the ones I went to school with because at least they didn't hurt me, then pass it off as love. At least, they were honest about disliking me.) I find it sad that even though they're grown up, they allow her to control their lives, and the oldest sibling has family of his own! If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is. Sorry for the off-topic rant. I just wanted to offer a point of view to show that not all people raised in punitive environments become hedonistic. Some of us are demonized even if we have a virtually clean record.
  11. S1988

    Hello from the Midwest

    @Siegfried von Walheim It varies from city to city, just like all regions in the world. I don't know my neighbor's name since I'm not very social, but maybe there are other neighborhoods that know their neighbors' names.
  12. Are you open to seeing a therapist to talk about this?
  13. S1988

    Having a baby in December

    You're welcome.
  14. S1988

    Having a baby in December

    Here are some books I recommend: Between Parent and Child by Haim Ginott How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, Ginott's students Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen
  15. S1988

    Working moms happier than stay-at-home moms?

    No, I don't know anything else about it.

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