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S1988

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S1988 last won the day on September 21

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About S1988

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  1. Good vs Evil - Not a choice

    So in your view, cheating someone out of their money or playing games with someone's feelings aren't evil? Those actions sound pretty low to me, even if they're not life-threatening. If you don't consider them evil, then what are they, in your opinion?
  2. Good vs Evil - Not a choice

    @Philociraptor What are your opinions on evils that aren't life-threatening, but are still hurtful in their own ways, such as scamming people or claiming to be someone's friend, but acting the total opposite? Not all evils put someone's life at stake or are even criminal.
  3. Marriages and children

    I think while children can exacerbate a problematic marriage, they're not the main cause. It's mainly because there's dysfunction in a relationship to begin with, such as an abusive partner or two people who get along okay, but don't have much in common. Sadly, some couples have babies since they assume that children will solve all of their problems, which is definitely a horrible reason to have kids. A baby isn't a panacea to issues; as a matter of fact, bringing a baby in the world for the wrong reasons only increases issues because the problems are still there, plus you have an extra mouth to feed. Since there are issues between you and your partner, you both have two choices: get counseling or break up. If you're afraid of your relationship deteriorating when it seems to be shaky already, why dump your issues on your prospective kids? Sometimes, it's better to not have kids at all than to have them grow up in a dysfunctional family.
  4. What is the meaning behind surreal art?

    I'm not sure. Perhaps the meaning behind avant-garde art works is subjective. Or, it's weird for its own sake.
  5. Is Personal Happiness the Most Important Thing In Life?

    Why should one pursue a career that causes them stress, even if it's more "respectable?" Besides, what's a good career and what isn't is something only the individual can decide, not anyone else. I think it's better for someone to not have kids than to have children without giving it any careful thought. When it comes to bringing a new life in the world, that's not something to be treated with levity. Even some kids themselves can pick up on the fact that their parents never wanted them to begin with. In the book Mean Mothers, author Peg Streep described how when she was three or four years old, she knew that her mother didn't want her because her mother would cringe when she tried to kiss or hug her. Other kids grow up being told by their parents how much they hate them and wish they were never born. Some parents admit that they only had children because their parents wanted to become grandparents. People should only become parents because they want to and have the resources to provide for children, not because they feel they have to. About significant others: Some people avoid committed relationships because they're afraid to end up with a possessive abuser. Others feel that such relationships are akin to adult babysitting and prefer to keep to themselves or only engage in platonic relationships. There are other risks like divorce, which is very expensive, or having a spouse become laid off or disabled, and you have to take on extra work to provide for the both of you. If kids are involved, what if one of you were to pass away, and one person is left to raise kids alone? As long as no one is being hurt or feel like they're required to live a certain way, why make someone's private life your business?
  6. Is Personal Happiness the Most Important Thing In Life?

    That's a very thought-provoking question. In my opinion, whether personal happiness is a good thing or not depends on the individual. Personal happiness is a good thing as long as it's something someone wants to do and it doesn't exploit others. The arsonist situation you brought up is a great example of how one's personal happiness isn't a good thing. On the other hand, the pizza delivery driver may be happy with his life because he likes delivering pizzas and has a great relationship with his parents. At least he has a job and isn't mooching off of them. The flip side could be that he's miserable because his parents treat him like their personal slave, and he can't afford to leave because they're taking some of his money for their uses. The accountant may be happy because he enjoys his occupation and his family. On the other hand, he may feel depressed because he became an accountant and got married only because he felt he had to as a result of family/society pressure. Maybe he wants to stay single and travel the world, but is afraid to disappoint his parents. Personally, I don't like it when people tell me what I should and shouldn't value. I keep to myself a lot, and that sometimes attracts the attention of know-it-all, busybody extroverts who pry into my life and tell me to be more outgoing. It's not like I tell them to be less social and stay home and read a book once in a while. I don't know why some of them feel like they know what's best for me better than I do. How I live isn't harming me or anyone else. Some people are just nosy, control freaks. All in all, that's my two cents.
  7. Dealing With His Mother: Overreacting Or..?

    I was a little surprised that you were talking about yourself all of this time, but I can see where you're coming from. Sometimes, it's nerve-wracking to talk about you problems. Have you thought about getting a roommate? It's a way for you to save money without living with your mother.
  8. Letting kids get angry at parents or voice their opinions are also good ways for them to stand up to others, even to authority figures. After all, being in charge doesn't mean you're always right. When I was a kid, when I got angry with my mother, I was punished for my "bad attitude." As a result, it made me vulnerable to bullies because I didn't want to appear "mean," which got me scolded for not standing up for myself. Talk about a mixed message. You can't punish a child for showing anger or disagreeing with you, and then wonder why they struggle with standing up for themselves. Now, it's a bit easier because I'm grown up, so no one can punish me for being "bad" anymore. I even stood up to my family, the ultimate bullies, by cutting them out. I continue to learn ways to defend myself, especially against those who think just because I'm quiet and keep to myself a lot, that I need some kind of "help."
  9. Question about ACE Score

    It can happen the other way around, too, that they weren't allowed to grow up. In some cases, like mine, it was a bit of both: sometimes I was the bad child, other times I was the substitute psychologist.
  10. Question about ACE Score

    I admit I do have very few memories of my babyhood, something I probably should have mentioned earlier, but none of them were traumatizing. They involved me doing something silly or gross like dancing to music in my crib, playing with my toys, or puking on my sister's pillow. Other than those, I have no other memories of my infanthood and nothing of my toddlerhood. Perhaps some people have stronger memories than others. I've heard of cases about people who didn't remember their lives before age 17, which befuddles me since teen years are more "recent" than infant years. My strongest memories exist between age four and the present. Besides, I'm not sure if I want to remember what was going on before my parents separated and eventually divorced. (I kind of already know anyway from "therapy sessions" with my mother, with me being the "therapist.") I have enough to deal with concerning my current memories. I don't know. First, it's out of my price range, and second, I'm not sure if I'll be successful in find a psychologist who doesn't want to "fix" me.
  11. Question about ACE Score

    But, how can events in my babyhood/toddlerhood affect me even though I don't have memories of being that young? Things I do remember have more of an effect on me than things I don't remember, like being picked on during my K-12 years because they were more "recent."
  12. Question about ACE Score

    I've never seen a psychologist, but I've read about mental health issues online. I know depression is a mental health issue that involves seeing no point in living, and that doesn't apply to me. I don't feel dead inside all the time. Anxiety: While everyone has something they worry about, it doesn't get to the point where I can't function. Inferiority Complex: Not sure if this is a mental health issue, but I do have this as a result of being demonized when making mistakes while being expected to understand theirs. Now, when I make a blunder, I remind myself that mistakes are opportunities to learn and that being human isn't something that's only reserved for others and not for me. Schizoid: This is debatable. While some medical literature say this is an issue, I don't think it is because I like being alone. It allows me to be myself and do things on my own time instead of on someone else's time. What bothers me are busybodies who shame me for living a lifestyle that hurts no one and want to fix a "problem" that isn't one. I don't like it when people act as if they know what's best for me better than I do even when they're 90 percent off the mark.
  13. Question about ACE Score

    Do certain questions apply to my ACE score if I have no memory of what happened? The questions about my mother being in an abusive relationship and someone using drugs in the home happened when I was too young to be aware of what was going on. I didn't know about my parents' addictions until my early 20s and I have vague memories of my brother's addiction problems. If I take those away, my ACE score would be a 3. If I count them in, it'd be a 5. I learned that anyone with a score of 5 or over are at great risk of health/mental issues. I wonder if that explains why in spite of insecurities I struggle with, I don't (and never had) addiction nor chronic health problems.
  14. Monarchs, like all people, are humans, not deities. Therefore, they should be open to criticism, and not just for its own sake. Sometimes, pointing out the negative of something is helpful because people can discuss ways to arrive to a solution. If we swept all problems under the rug and pretended nothing's wrong, then they can exacerbate. In my opinion, a country that's not allowed to criticize its leaders isn't a free one at all. Besides, I have more respect for leaders (and other people) who aren't afraid to admit flaws than those who act as if they don't have any.
  15. Well, there are countries like Thailand where it's actually a criminal offense to criticize the monarchy.
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