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_LiveFree_

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_LiveFree_ last won the day on May 8

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About _LiveFree_

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  1. Short answer: be honest. You're not being honest with yourself about what you are experiencing. You're self-censoring. Stop. Longer answer: www.selfleadership.org YOU have to do the work. No one else. This is on you. If you don't care enough to do it, no will be able to help you. There are lots of resources on that website. Buy books, YouTube internal family systems therapy and watch videos. Print this thread out and take it to your therapist. Ask your therapist what emotions she/he sees you expressing. Maybe you're not aware of them. I see frustration from you. I feel frustration reading your responses. Frustration is the result of anger arising out of a denied desire. Stop being frustrated. Stop denying that you are worth the effort to fix this and cultivate a feeling of panic! This is your #1 job in your life right now, not some side interest you sometimes think about. Go buy Internal Family Systems Therapy by Richard Schwartz. Read it cover to cover in a couple of days to get familiar with it. Then go back through it again slowly. Go buy cheap notebooks and pens from Walmart. Write write write. PRACTICE writing how you feel. Get to know your parts. Be honest. Keep a daily journal. If you don't know what to write, then write, "I don't know what to write." Then write how you feel about not knowing what to write. You have a muscle called self-expression that has atrophied because it has been tied up unable to move your whole life. You must go through the agony of rebuilding it BY USING IT. There is no HOW for you anymore. Only choice of whether you will or will not. Posting on a message board won't do it. Listening to podcasts won't do it. Simply thinking about it won't do it. And complaining to others won't do it. Questions?
  2. Figure it out. I wasn't making one. You're not doing this right. Stop hijacking the thread. EDIT: You know what? If you actually want to have this conversation with me, then I will engage you over private message. Send me a message and I will respond to you there.
  3. Holy crap man get over yourself
  4. Then you know what to do. Get to it.
  5. You have a lot still going on. The reason you have lot's of knowledge plus intelligence yet no results is because you are still emotionally detached from what has happened to you. Make that connection and you'll start to see things change. It's extremely scary, but you have to. I'd spend all of your time in therapy trying to reattach yourself to your emotions. They are not irrational.
  6. don't join in on the retardation. He has a problem with me and was being passive aggressive. I wasn't making an argument. I was making it clear I have no desire whatsoever to engage with him at this point. It's also why I've put him on ignore. Don't use #NotAnArgument unless you have bigboy panties on. You'll ruin it for the rest of us. Interesting how you didn't pick up on the passive aggression.
  7. Next time you're in therapy, talk about that.
  8. Depends on what "meaningful" means to you, but I see your point. As long as the relationship boundaries are clear for both parties there won't be a problem. Have to be honest.
  9. You're retarded. Stop responding to me.
  10. You're absolutely right that there can't be any progress until that emotional connection to what happened to you is made. If you were to make a whole "my parents were terrible" speech, how would it go?
  11. This doesn't make any sense to me. And are you going to actually give an effort here or not? These short posts are a waste of time.
  12. Isn't it interesting how humans identify themselves with their environment? Have you explored in therapy your relationships with your parents? Do you want to talk about that some here?
  13. Those are not feelings. Those are conclusions. How did you reach those conclusions?
  14. What does "worked up about it" mean? I can tell you if one of my friends did this to me I'd be a little miffed and would definitely ask them "what the hell man?" What evidence would your friend have that you're in the wrong here and why is curiousity awkward for you? I can tell you by your answers to these simple questions that your self-esteem is all out of whack. Nathaniel Branden's "Psychology of Self-Esteem" lays out the case that the esteem of which we hold ourselves is the direct response to how we treat ourselves in accordance with our inner most values. If you haven't read it, do. So in your case, you call this person a friend but you are not comfortable saying a simple thing like, "hey what the hell?" But you trust his opinion about you more than your own.
  15. And what would you think of your "friend"? -------------------------------------------------------- What if the opposite happened and he became curious about what you were feeling? How would you react, what would you feel?