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Highest Reputation Content

#378975 Because people have asked...

Posted by MMD on 19 August 2014 - 04:12 PM

[color=rgb(20,24,35);font-family:Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;font-size:12px;background-color:rgb(246,247,248)]I received messages from several listeners about their calls/images/videos from participation in our shows being used to bully them online. This was spread a cross two different channels and they asked if I could have the content removed. Going after listeners is completely unacceptable and I used the methods at my disposal to remove the material. If you attack listeners, you don't get to use any of our material. That's the line.[/color]

  • 28

#378534 Child abuse intervention. This time at my job.

Posted by Joel Patterson on 16 August 2014 - 12:47 AM

One of the jobs that I currently have is in sales. I'm a vendor who sets up a demo on Monday's and Fridays in Costco and I promote a vitamin like nutrient called CoQ10. The job's base pay better than any of my previous jobs, I get to practice my sales skills, which is an incredibly valuable and transferable skill.  Today I was willing to give it all up though. I was willing to cause an incredible amount of dissatisfaction in a customer and risk her complaining to Costco management or contacting my Company's corporate. Because some things are just more important. I had 15 minutes left of my shift. I look to my left and I see a woman just pounding on her son's buttocks. The sound was quite loud, she was using the kind of force you would use to bang on a door out of frustration when you've locked yourself out of your house, hoping someone will wake up to open the door. It was the most violent assault on a child I had seen in years. This was followed by, "I'll give you something to cry about!" Without hesitation i walked over to this woman and told her with firmness, "Ma'm I understand being a parent is difficult, but you do not hit children. That is assault." "How about you not tell me how to parent?" She barked "That's not parenting, that's abuse", I retorted.  She then went on to ask me if I had kids, I told her no, and then I looked at the boy in the cart and ignored her.  I asked if he was okay. With hindsight, I realize this was a silly question to ask given that he was just beat, but I wanted to sympathize with him and let him know that I cared about him.  She repeated herself, "OH SERIOUSLY? Do you have kids" "No,but I would never hit a child any more than I would hit a woman." "We'll, good for you. Thanks for telling me how to parent!", She walked away.  I might wear slacks, a polo, and a name badge, but I'm more than a salesmen, I'm a philosopher and it's my duty to help people. And I wanted to use this post to encourage you all to do the same.   

  • 25

#364963 FDRPodcasts.com Official Launch!

Posted by Kevin Beal on 04 May 2014 - 12:15 AM

You may have noticed already, but if you select "Podcasts" from the FDR homepage, you are now directed to FDRPodcasts.com v1.0.


It's a way of easily finding podcasts on all of the topics brought up here. It's got search, tags, sorting and lots of other features to help you find podcasts. There are a lot of gems in the archive that people new to the show are not likely aware of. Browse the lists! There are TON of podcasts to listen to.


I brought this up as an idea to Stef a couple years ago, but it didn't work out for different reasons, and then Mike (MMD) and I talked about trying to make it work last year and so I started designing and putting some things together. Then JamesP and I talked and it turned out that exactly the things that was most worried about were things he was proficient in and it ended up being a really good match. So he ended up handling the server side details (and he did an awesome job of it) and I did the front end work. We got a TON of tags from work Adam Crowe did for a separate project which added a ton of value. Mike and I worked out how the design of the page should be, and so this is what we've got so far!


There are plans to add more features, (e.g. timestamps), but probably the most important thing is content. There are probably some badly formatted podcast titles and/or incorrect podcast numbers and things like this, and also, we want to be able to have youtube links for every podcast that has one, timestamps, more tags, etc, and I'm currently working on making volunteering easier. I'll keep you posted!


If you come across any bugs, feature requests, have any feedback at all, hate it, love it, let me know in this thread. A lot of the features and design decisions that I made originated as feedback from other people. Feedback makes things better!


One known bug is that the yellow email button isn't popping up the modal with the form to send people podcasts by email (should be fixed shortly).

  • 25

#350622 Physical Exercise and Its Benefits

Posted by Lians on 30 December 2013 - 11:35 AM

Physical Exercise and Its Benefits
1. Introduction
I know you've all heard this before: "Exercise is good for you!" How many of you know exactly why that is? For people who don't exercise, this article is intended to be a brief introduction to exercising and why it matters. Those who already exercise may know a lot of the information I'm about to present, but having a general overview often gives birth to new insight. I've also tried to bring as much scientific research to this topic as I could. The amateur guy on the internet disclaimer still applies to what you're about read.
One of the goals of irrational and violent hierarchies like religion is to disconnect you from your body. You aren't allowed to trust your body if faith in imaginary entities is to be sustained. I'm sure this isn't the first time you've heard about this idea since Stef often brings it up in his podcasts. What better way to alleviate this particular side-effect of irrational upbringing than to start moving. Physical exercise can be the perfect complement to philosophy and self-knowledge, and I hope I can convince you of that.
2. Brief History
Until two hundred years ago, most people had to exercise through everyday work. Washing your clothes by hand, without detergent, can be a workout in itself. You couldn't afford to lead a sedentary lifestyle unless you were a part of the ruling class. The Ancient Greeks were probably the first to put physical fitness on a pedestal with their principle of a healthy mind in a healthy body. This principle is attributed to Thales, the philosopher who's also credited for the know thyself maxim.
The Greeks considered gymnastics, alongside music, to be vital in the development of every human being. "Exercise for the body and music for the soul," was a popular saying back in those days. The median lifespan of your average Greek was around 70 (if he wasn't killed in war), and exercise was one of the most popular prescriptions for health and wellbeing. The Greek ideal of physical fitness inspired the ancient world to exercise, and the idea was later rekindled during the Renaissance in Europe.
A lot of the famous Greek thinkers were athletes in their youth. Correlation is certainly not causation but a disproportionately large number of the great thinkers of antiquity came from Ancient Greece. I wouldn't dismiss the Greek love of physical fitness as a contributing factor.
References and Further Reading:
3. Muscle Physiology
I'll start with a very short overview of how muscles work. First, you need to know a little bit about the human nervous system. It's comprised of two major parts: the central nervous system (CNS) and the peripheral nervous system (PNS). The CNS consists of the brain and spinal cord, and the PNS is divided into the autonomic (involuntary) nervous system (ANS) and the somatic (voluntary) nervous system. For the purposes of this topic, I'll focus only on the ANS.
In the spirit of subdivision, the ANS is further divided into the sympathetic (SNS; fight or flight), parasympathetic (PSNS; rest or digest) and enteric nervous systems. Physical movement is facilitated by the SNS. From an evolutionary standpoint, not dying took precedence over everything else, so the SNS is wired to override the other two systems when the brain deems it necessary. There's no time for rest when a predator wants to snack on you.
The muscles that are involved in movement are attached to our skeleton with tendons and are called, not surprisingly, skeletal muscles. The human musculoskeletal system is mechanically supported by large interweaving networks of fibrous collagen tissue called fascia. Muscles are comprised of muscle fibres. These fibres are often classified as Type I (slow twitch), Type IIa (fast twitch), Type IIx (super fast twitch) and hybrid. The nervous system is connected to the muscular system through neuromuscular junctions, where motor neurons control the contraction of muscle fibres. Multiple motor neurons often work together to contract a single muscle. The primary source of energy for physical activity comes from the oxidation of fats and carbohydrates, so proper diet and breathing are very important for optimal physical activity.
When your brain wants to activate a muscle, it sends an electrochemical signal down the spinal cord and through the sympathetic nervous system. This signal eventually reaches a motor neuron, which in turn contracts the muscle fibres that are connected to it. Since the amplitude of these signals (action potentials) is constant, the contractile force of a muscle fibre is proportional to the signal's frequency (it's frequency-modulated). Overall, muscle strength and size increases depend on hypertrophy (you exercise the muscle) and neuromuscular adaptations (your CMS becomes better at handling the stress generated by your movement).
The nervous system adapts to a particular type of motion through repetitive training, and different types of athletes have different nervous system behaviour based on their genetic make-up and exercise routine. For example, long distance runners can activate motor neurons connected to well developed slow-twitch muscles for energy efficient movement, while sprinters rely on their powerful fast-twitch muscles for speed. In general, muscle training is a matter of finding the right balance between endurance (small force output over a long period of time), strength (maximum force output over a short period of time) and speed (moderate force output over a very short period of time). The number and location of activated motor neurons is also very important for optimal performance.
References and Further Reading:
4. Stress
Stress, the physiological reaction to a fight-flight-freeze (FFF) SNS response, stimulates the production of adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol hormones, which prepare the body for action. Stress is generally divided into two categories: eustress (good) and distress (bad). The difference between these categories lies in the type of stress response (fight, flight or freeze) and the way the released hormones are appropriated.
Here's a brief overview of the function of these stress hormones. Adrenaline and noradrenaline bind to receptors on the heart and heart vessels, increasing heart rate, muscle contraction and respiration. Your body's now primed for action, but it still requires energy. Cortisol provides this energy by binding to receptors on the fat cells, liver and pancreas. It inhibits unnecessary (according to the brain) functions like digestion, immune response and reproduction, while pumping out glucose to power the muscular system. 
Eustress is associated with a fight-or-flight response and has numerous health benefits. Physical exercise is a good example of eustress. All the generated energy is put into action and hormone production normalizes when the stimuli are no longer present. I'll go into a more detailed overview of all the positive effects of this state a bit later.
Distress is the bad guy in this story. It's triggered when your amygdala enters a prolonged freeze feedback loop. Something is causing you anxiety, but you don't know what that is or you can't act on it. You have to remain vigilant. Tests with animals have shown that random stimuli, unlike consistently good or bad stimuli, cause long-term health damage. The animal's freeze state is constantly on because it has no idea what dangers lie out there. It can't fight or run away from the unknown and it's severely distressed.
Physiologically, stress hormones keep building up in your system, generating muscle tension and energy that aren't put to use. Since there's no physical release of the FFF state, cortisol levels continue building up in your bloodstream and wreak havoc on your mind and body.
Due to our rapid technological and social development, the more primitive fear and pain centres in our brain haven't had the time to catch up through evolution. Even an offensive comment from a colleague can trigger an FFF response, which our rational faculties will try to inhibit. We perceive that we're in danger, but we can't act on it. If you've watched the Bomb in the Brain series, you already know that a traumatic childhood further contributes to this unhealthy dynamic, setting you up for a lifetime of health issues.
Physical exercise will not resolve the underlying causes of distress, but it will alleviate the associated negative side-effects by burning through the excess of stress hormones in your body. This factor alone is enough to consider incorporating regular exercise into your daily or weekly regimen.
Finding the motivation to exercise in a distressed condition, while difficult, is a matter of practice. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Avoid distractions like music so you can concentrate on the problem that's stressing you out. In my experience, thinking proactively about the problem (focusing on what you can control in the situation) while exercising provides the best of both worlds - you can better concentrate on finding a solution and you stay healthy in the process. Work on self-knowledge can be incredibly taxing on the body in terms of distress. It's also very difficult to apply your knowledge of philosophy when your body is in an FFF state. Don't try to suppress the stress response with exercise. Manage it! While I prefer the dual benefit of the health and stress relief that physical exercise provides, it's just one of many available approaches (massage, aromatherapy and so forth). Choose whatever works for you!
References and Further Reading:
5. Fatigue
So what happens during prolonged exposure to stress? Well, there's only so much your central nervous system can handle. Sending and coordinating signals to your muscular and cardiovascular systems will eventually cause your CMS to fatigue. Even if you can handle more stress physiologically, your brain considers it dangerous to continue reacting to the FFF stimuli. Chronic distress and excessive eustress can put a lot of strain on your CMS. They may even cause it to break down. This phenomenon, when caused by excessive eustress, is known as overtraining. Chronic distress can develop into mild or even severe chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS).
Essentially, the SNS goes rogue and overwhelms the PSNS, bringing about a constant FFF state. The PSNS is now unable to heal the body from the damage created by prolonged physical arousal. Recovery is very slow, and in the case of CFS, extremely difficult. Overtraining and CFS symptoms include fatigue, concentration issues, muscle and joint pain, constant headaches, stomach pain, irritable bowel syndrome, insomnia, depression, irritability, panic attacks and excessive sweating. PTSD and symptoms of CFS were observed in the entire population of Gulf War veterans. Needless to say, soldiers experience severe levels of distress.
Here's where it gets worse. A lot of the PTSD and CFS symptoms are the same, so there might be a lot of misdiagnosed trauma. What're more, if you're suffering from a mild form of CFS as a result of child abuse, you may not be aware of the symptoms because you don't have a standard for comparison. It's how you've felt your whole life. Athletes who overtrain and soldiers with CFS are acutely aware of the symptoms because the differences in their health are very obvious. Someone who's grown up with this issue may consider it normal.
Treatments for CFS include talk therapy and graded exercise therapy. Hang on, this is interesting! People exercise to cure fatigue? As it turns out, exercise reduces fatigue by strengthening and improving the efficiency of the nervous and cardiovascular systems.
If you have a heightened FFF response that interferes with the healing functions of your PSNS as a result of childhood trauma, you may receive a lot of additional benefits from physical exercise.
References and Further Reading:
6. Health Effects
You may already be familiar with the numerous health benefits of exercising, but I'll briefly cover them in case you need a refresher.
The benefits of exercising on the cardiovascular system are well-known and thoroughly researched. There's no better way to prevent cardiovascular diseases such as heart attack and heart failure. Exercise will also improve your blood circulation, strength and endurance. A stronger heart burns through more calories which will result in greater weight loss.
Regular exercise can really beef up your brain as well. It will improve the overall efficiency of your entire nervous system. It also facilitates the production of new neurons in the hippocampal area of the brain through a process called neurogenesis. The hippocampus is our learning and memory centre, so physically active people will experience improved learning ability, concentration and an increase in short-term and long-term memory capacity and retention. Neurogenesis is particularly important for older people because the brain starts to lose nerve tissue at around the age of 30. Through regular exercise, you can work towards preventing diseases such as Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.
Exercising can increase bone density, making your skeleton frame a lot tougher. This is important because chronic distress can result in more brittle bones and even osteoporosis.
Finally, one of the more unintuitive benefits is an overall reduction in fatigue. If you're chronically tired you may want to consider a gradual increase in your physical activity to alleviate the problem. Jumping into an intense workout program will only result in additional fatigue, so make sure you pace yourself appropriately.
References and Further Reading:


7. Priming
Priming seems to be a pretty controversial topic in the realms of psychology. There are indications of a dual correlation between emotions and physical movement. In other words, emotions can influence physical behaviour, and in turn, physical behaviour can influence emotions. For example, feeling happy may cause you to contract the muscles on your face in a smile, and smiling while feeling unhappy may improve your happiness. There's no conclusive evidence about the degree to which this is the case, but it's important to consider the possibility.
It's a well-known fact that emotions are associated with the activation of particular muscle groups. People can often identify an emotion by its effect on their body (fear is the best example of this). Even if the reverse - emotions being influenced by movement - isn't true, physical movement may still trigger emotional memory and cause you to re-experience a particular event that is associated with the type of motion that you're performing (body memory hypothesis).
Priming and body memory, while not strongly established, are worthwhile considerations for those of who work on self-knowledge. Changing the way we move may give us additional insight into our inner worlds. I've seen top athletes freeze on the dance floor. They were perfectly capable of performing the movements but were afraid of the associated feelings that often come up when we dance: "I can't relax when I dance even when I'm all by myself."
References and Further Reading:
8. Exercise Approaches
This part will only consist of my personal opinions, so take it for what it's worth. To establish at least some credibility, I was a competitive athlete for many years and have been very physically active since I was around 4 years old. I've got a minimum of three years of experience with martial arts, sprinting, football, basketball,volleyball and even Latin dancing. I've played other sports for shorter periods of time.
Physical exercise is no substitute for self-knowledge, but it can certainly complement it. If you're not particularly active, committing to an exercise regimen will be a long-term project as you may not see significant benefits even until the first year. There are lots of exercise programs that will offer you an instant six-pack and a permanent injury. Stay away from them because they're designed for people who want short-term value over long-term sustainability. The economics of hidden costs!
You can either research exercise techniques on your own or find an experienced coach. The goal is to have a program that fits your needs. Luckily, there's lots of information on the internet. Make sure your regimen fits in with your other activities as well. This, alongside habit, is the key to long-term commitment. Ideally, with slight modifications, you want your program to continue supporting you many years into the future. Don't get discouraged if you have to stop for a while. It's perfectly normal. The idea of the Aristotelian mean applies quite well in this case. You're not aiming for a perfect (What a terrible word!) track record, so keep your mind on the long-term goal and make your effort proportional to it.
If you've never exercised before, make sure you correct your posture by resolving muscle imbalances and build your core strength through bodyweight and light dumbbell training. You can do all this in the comfort of your room, so social anxiety won't be an issue. Don't forget to include lots of stretching before and after exercise! Once you have a solid foundation, you can move on to weight lifting or sports. Focus on proper form (how you move) over performance (how much force you can generate) if you want to stay healthy in the long run.
Finally, there are a few things to keep in mind if you want to go for a team sport. Unless you've got control over who you play with, it's not a bad idea to avoid full-contact sports like rugby, football, basketball etc. because they attract a lot of aggressive people who want to channel their dysfunction into physical dominance. Even experienced players can get seriously injured by aggressive amateurs. Nowadays, volleyball is my sport of choice. It gives you a full-body workout while keeping you away from dangerous opponents. It's quite popular, so it's not hard to find people to play with.



9. Conclusion
This was certainly a long way of saying the following: Take care of your bodies, folks! I hope I managed to convince some of you to start doing that. An exercise regimen can certainly make its way into your New Year's resolution! In case you've never exercised, use the information presented here as a starting point for your own research. I'd be happy to address any questions or criticisms. If I've made an error, please let me know!

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#369975 Another child abuse intervention at the mall.

Posted by Joel Patterson on 13 June 2014 - 07:02 PM

today, i wanted to share a brief child abuse intervention at the mall.
A child was crying heavily behind me and i heard the parent say repeatedly "stop crying"
 in a sharp aggresive tone of voice.
  I then slowed down and let her catch up with me. With the child still crying, while she was walking next to me and i asked her gently, "is everything okay?"
 Immediately her tone changed and she said lightheartedly, "oh she's just fussin over not getting something"
 I then asked, "have you tried simply asking why she's upset?"
In response, she gave me a similar narrative except this time stuttering.  I've never had a parent not argue with me or attempt to put me in my place. So, when she seemed scared It surprised me.  
 I then said the child although she wasn't look at me, still crying "hey it's okay to be upset"  
Then her mom got on her level , mimicked me, and said "hey it's okay", picked her up and hugged her and then she took her to the candy shop
  I then walked away and cried because i thought what had happened to the girl was really sad

  • 23

#379835 Joe Rogan & Ana Kasparian Discuss Stefan Molyneux's Insane Comments

Posted by WasatchMan on 24 August 2014 - 04:43 AM

Wow.. Joe Rogan is kind of a slimy piece of shit here. "If you listen to him you're dumb. Is it dangerous to trick dumb people?"  Then accuses Stefan of trolling? On top of that, he completely mis-represents the Eliot Roger video and Stef's take on it.  IMO, Joe Rogan is probably not a good influence to the message being transmitted here.


It is also hilarious how Ana chooses to use that make-up clip (again) when she is, at that very moment, made-up like a complete sex clown.

  • 22

#391550 The Truth About Verbal Abuse

Posted by Joel Patterson on 05 December 2014 - 11:42 PM

Disclaimer: All credit goes to original authors. I have merely collected and shared data. Very little of this includes my writing.

            The Truth About Verbal Abuse

                       From Joel Patterson


“So much more than name calling. Verbal abuse is the defining of another person’s inner world. It’s like a slam into their consciousness that tells them what they are, what they think, what they feel or what their motives are. It can include threats used to control another human being, to erase their perceptions, and to tell them that they are less than what they are, to define them as objects. It can be defining someone as non-existent in withholding, giving no response, as if they’re not there.  


Categories of Verbal Abuse

“ Name-calling, belittling, swearing, insulting. ("You are stupid." "You're a rotten kid.")


Indirect criticism, such as disparaging your child to your spouse, also hurts. Just because you're not berating your child directly doesn't mean he doesn't hear it and feel the sting.

Rejecting or threatening with abandonment. ("I wish you'd never been born." "I should put you up for adoption.") This kind of verbal abuse creates a sense that your child isn't wanted in the family.

Threatening bodily harm. Studies have linked verbal aggression and physical aggression: A Harvard study found, for example, that "parents who yell frequently are the ones most likely to hit frequently, and vice versa." Even if you don't act on violent threats, they may make your child fear and distrust you.

Scapegoating or blaming. ("You're the reason this family is such a mess." "If I didn't have to take care of you, I could have a better life." "If you weren't so clumsy, your sister wouldn't have gotten hurt.") Your child will think he's a bad person who deserves to be unhappy.


Using sarcasm. Making a mocking remark, such as "Now that was smart" when he spills juice on the rug, might seem like a way to avoid direct criticism, but your child is perceptive enough to understand that you're demeaning him.

Berating your spouse. A study at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, determined that children who see their parents verbally abusing each other are more likely to be depressed or anxious, and to experience more interpersonal problems of their own. Interestingly, the study also found that verbal aggression between parents was more traumatic to children than physical violence between parents.” [1]

Prevalence of Verbal Abuse

“One national study from the University of New Hampshire found that 63 percent of American parents reported one or more instances of verbal aggression, such as swearing at and insulting their child. [2]

A 2003 survey of nearly 1,000 American parents found that almost 75 percent reported shouting, yelling or screaming at their children during the previous year. On average, they reported doing so at least once a month. But the authors of the study of “psychological aggression” by parents, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, assumed it happened more often because yelling is “so ordinary and so taken for granted” it does not stand out in one’s memory. “[3]


A new study led by Ming-Te Wang, assistant professor of psychology in education in the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Education and of psychology in Pitt’s Kenneth P. Dietrich School of Arts and Sciences suggests that “use of harsh verbal discipline—defined as shouting, cursing, or using insults—may be just as detrimental to the long-term well-being of adolescents.”(as physical discipline)

Rather than minimizing problematic behavior in adolescents, the use of harsh verbal discipline—defined as shouting, cursing, or using insults— may in fact aggravate it. The researchers found that adolescents who had experienced harsh verbal discipline suffered from increased levels of depressive symptoms, and were more likely to demonstrate behavioral problems such as vandalism or antisocial and aggressive behavior.


Adolescents who had experienced harsh verbal discipline suffered from increased levels of depressive symptoms, and were more likely to demonstrate behavioral problems such as vandalism or antisocial and aggressive behavior.” [4]

As Damaging as Physical Discipline?

Wang and Kenny found that the negative effects of verbal discipline within the two-year period of their study were comparable to the effects shown over the same period of time in other studies that focused on physical discipline.


“From that we can infer that these results will last the same way that the effects of physical discipline do because the immediate-to-two-year effects of verbal discipline were about the same as for physical discipline,” Wang said. Based on the literature studying the effects of physical discipline, Wang and Kenny anticipate similar long-term results for adolescents subjected to harsh verbal discipline.”[4]

The Importance Of Consistent Parenting

Significantly, the researchers also found that “parental warmth”—i.e., the degree of love, emotional support, and affection between parents and adolescents—did not lessen the effects of the verbal discipline. The sense that parents are yelling at the child “out of love,” or “for their own good,” Wang said, does not mitigate the damage inflicted. Neither does the strength of the parent-child bond.


Even lapsing only occasionally into the use of harsh verbal discipline, said Wang, can still be harmful. “Even if you are supportive of your child, if you fly off the handle it’s still bad,” he said. [4]

Key Facts on How Abuse Effects Brain Development

Dr. Martin Teicher’s work extends beyond studies regarding the effects that verbal abuse has on brain development. One of the most fascinating findings that Dr. Teicher’s large body of work shows is that, not only is the brain molded by experiences that occur throughout the lifespan, but “there are particular stages of development when experience exerts either a maximal (sensitive period) or essential (critical period) effect”

Thus, if stress exposure targets different brain regions based on ages of exposure, then exposure at different ages may lead to different clinical outcomes. Childhood exposure sensitizes the individual to later emergence of depression during adolescence.

(This is important to understand when considering the results of studies which document the impact of verbal abuse.)


The hippocampus is part of a system that commands many bodily functions: the limbic system, which is located in the brain's medial temporal lobe. The hippocampus is responsible for long-term or "declarative" memory.


The corpus callosum consists of about 200 millon axons that interconnect the two hemispheres. The primary function of the corpus callosum is to integrate motor, sensory, and cognitive performances between the cerebral cortex on one side of the brain to the same region on the other side.[11]


The Prefrontal Lobes are important for

Execution Function
Working Memory
Behavior Inhibition

Delayed Impact

In addition, it appears as though the effects of child abuse are delayed. On average, there is a 9 year gap between exposure to childhood sexual abuse and emergence of depression.


Subjects who developed major depression had the onset occur between 10–20 years of age (mean survival 15.0 years; 95% CI: 13.6–16.4 years). The average time from onset of CSA(childhood sexual abuse) to onset of major depression, in those who developed depression, was 9.2 ± 3.6 years. Mean survival time from onset of CSA to onset of depression for the entire sample was 11.47 years (95% CI: 9.80–13.13 years). Mean survival from offset of CSA (first episode if there were multiple perpetrators) was 9.55 years (95% CI: 7.45–11.65 years). “ [12]


The Brain on Verbal Abuse

“Verbal assault can alter the way a developing brain is wired," says Martin Teicher, associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.


Brain scans reveal decreased activity in parts of the brain concerned with emotion and attention. Patients with a history of sexual abuse or intense verbal badgering showed less blood flow in a part of the brain known as the cerebellar vermis. The vermis aids healthy people to maintain an emotional balance, but in those with a history of childhood abuse, that stabilizing function may become impaired.

He and his colleagues have already found evidence of anxiety, depression, and brain differences in a study of 554 college students exposed to loud yelling, screaming, and belittling remarks directed at them. The latter include remarks like "You're stupid," "You'll never amount to anything," and "Why can't you be more like your cousin?" From this study, Teicher concludes that "exposure to verbal aggression may have effects as powerful as physical or nonfamilial sexual abuse."


Harsh punishment, unwanted sexual advances, belittling, and neglect are thought to release a cascade of such stress hormones, which produces an enduring effect on the signals that brain cells send and receive from each other. As a result the brain becomes molded to overrespond to stress. [5]

In 2009, Martin Teicher and collegues published an article entitled ”Preliminary evidence for white matter tract abnormalities in young adults exposed to parental verbal abuse.”, which documents their research on how verbal abuse impacts the brain.  Diffusion Tensor Imaging (DTI) was used to ascertain whether PVA was associated with abnormalities in brain white matter (WM) tract integrity.

(Facts for understanding the images)
*Diffusion tensor imaging (DTI) measures the direction of movement of water molecules within and along axons, which comprise the bundles of nerve fibers in the brain's white matter.

*Fractional anisotropy(FA) is the uniformity of water flow throughout the brain. areas with low FA are indicative of axonal injury, and areas with abnormally high FA, as compared to healthy brains.


The arcuate fasciculus is a white-matter fiber tract that links lateral temporal cortex with frontal cortex via a dorsal projection that arches around the Sylvain fissure.

Detailed tractography of left arcuate fasciculus fibers in a representative subject color coded by fiber direction. Yellow region marks segment of the pathway delineated by Tract-Based Spatial Statistics as having significantly lower Fractional anisotropy in subjects with Parental verbal abuse versus controls.”[14]


The cingulum is a collection of white matter fibers projecting from the cingulate gyrus to the entorhinal cortex in the brain, allowing for communication between components of the limbic system.

Detailed tractography of left cingulum bundle fibers in a representative subject color coded by fiber direction. Yellow region marks segment of the pathway delineated by TBSS as having significantly lower Fractional anisotropy in subjects with Parental Verbal Abuse versus controls.”[14]


The Fornix is a C-shaped bundle of fibers, also known as axons, which carry signals from the hippocampus to other parts of the brain.

Detailed tractography of left fornix fibers in a representative subject color coded by fiber direction. Yellow region marks segment of the pathway delineated by TBSS as having significantly lower FA in subjects with PVA versus controls.[14]

Overall, results from this study support a hypothesis that the brain is chiseled in precise ways by exposure to adverse early experience. Analysis of neural connectivity patterns provides preliminary but intriguing evidence that the arcuate fasciculus, cingulum bundle and fornix may be vulnerable to the effects of early stress. Diminished fiber integrity, aberrant crossing patterns, alterations in axonal diameter, or extent of myelination along portions of these pathways may underlie some of the psychiatric and neurocognitive consequences of childhood abuse. “[14]



“These findings and the present results suggest that the development of auditory association cortex involved in language processing may be affected by exposure to early stress and/or emotionally abusive language.”- Martin Teicher[9]

As Damaging As Sexual Abuse?

“Because exposure to verbal aggression has received relatively little attention as a specific form of abuse compared to physical and sexual abuse, Martin Teicher and three colleagues of Harvard University— Jacqueline Samson, Ann Polcari, and Cynthia McGreenery — set out to do a study comparing the impact of childhood verbal abuse in both the presence and absence of physical and sexual abuse and exposure to family violence.

They recruited 554 young people, aged 18 to 22 years, who responded to advertisements. About half were women and most were white. They all filled out questionnaires about unhappy childhoods and verbal abuse.

Verbal abuse, the researchers found, had as great an effect as physical or nondomestic sexual mistreatment. Verbal aggression alone turns out to be a particularly strong risk factor for depression, anger-hostility, and dissociation disorders. The latter involve cutting off a particular mental function from the rest of the mind. In one type of dissociation, the person can’t recall part of his or her personal history. Other types involve hallucinations, feeling unreal or unstable, unconsciously converting painful emotions into physical symptoms, and multiple personalities.

“Our findings raise the possibility that exposure to verbal aggression may affect the development of certain vulnerable brain regions in susceptible individuals,” Teicher’s group warns. “Alternatively, such exposure in childhood may put into force a powerful negative model for interpersonal relationships.” Possible consequences could include insecure attachments to others, negative feelings about oneself in relation to others, poor social functioning, and lowered self-esteem and coping strategies. Worse, says, Teicher, “such possibilities are not mutually exclusive.”

Teicher shows that, indeed, exposure to verbal abuse does affect certain areas of the brain. These areas are associated with changes in verbal IQ and symptoms of depression, dissociation, and anxiety.

The effects of verbal abuse were worse than witnessing serious domestic violence and as serious as sexual abuse outside the home, but not as bad as sexual abuse by a family member. Of 54 people in the study who witnessed domestic violence, 35 saw their mothers being threatened or assaulted. Twenty-three witnessed brothers and sisters being physically mistreated. Thirteen of these attacks involved severe beatings.” [6]



The Limbic System Checklist-33 was created to evaluate the frequency with which subjects experience symptoms often encountered as phenomena of ictal temporal lobe epilepsy, as described by Spiers et al. These items consist of paroxysmal somatic disturbances, brief hallucinatory events, visual phenomena, automatism, and dissociative experiences.” [7]

“The Dissociative Experience Scale consists of 28 questions that assess the frequency of various dissociative experiences. Scores on each item range from 0 to 100, and they are averaged to provide an index score. Total scores under 20 capture most healthy subjects and patient groups with no appreciable dissociative symptoms.”[7]



Peer Verbal Abuse

In 2010 Dr. Martin H. Teicher and colleagues  sought to ascertain what the effects of exposure to peer verbal abuse are in young adulthood. They asked “whether childhood exposure to peer verbal abuse in the absence of physical bullying was associated with elevations in psychiatric symptoms, similar to the effects they observed with childhood exposure to parental verbal abuse.” Dr.Teicher and colleagues also “examined diffusion tensor imaging scans from a group of healthy volunteers to ascertain whether the integrity of white matter tracts might be affected by exposure to peer verbal abuse, as they had recently observed in individuals exposed to parental verbal abuse.

Detailed ratings of symptoms and exposure to emotional abuse and trauma were collected and analyzed from our multistudy community database of 1,662 young adults (636 male and 1,026 female) 18–25 years of age who responded to an advertisement entitled “Memories of Childhood.” All participants gave informed consent prior to participation. We focused on a group of 848 participants (363 male and 485 female, with a mean age of 21.8 years [SD=2.1]) who had no exposure to domestic violence, childhood sexual abuse, parental physical abuse, or peer physical bullying and a subset of 707 participants (298 male and 409 female, with a mean age of 21.9 years [SD=2.1]) who in addition had no exposure to either maternal or paternal verbal abuse; exposure to verbal abuse was defined as a maternal or paternal score ≥40 on the Verbal Abuse Questionnaire.”[8]

The results are shocking...

Questionnaire scores.


Peer vs Parental Abuse


Incidence and Timing of Exposure to Peer Verbal Abuse

Exposure peaked during the middle school years (grades 6–8, typically ages 11–14). Children exposed to peer verbal abuse during elementary school often had this exposure persist into middle school. However, 9.8% of participants in the community sample were exposed to significant levels of peer verbal abuse during middle school but not elementary school.”[8]

Neuroimaging Sample


. Regions in the Corpus Callosum (CC) and Posterior Corona Radiata (PCR) in Which Correlations Were Observed Between Degree of Exposure to Peer Verbal Abuse and Mean Diffusivity (MD), Radial Diffusivity (RD), and Fractional Anisotropy (FA)a

a Regions were identified with diffusion tensor imaging and the tract-based spatial statistics tool in FSL. Blue coloring indicates a positive correlation with diffusion measurements. Red coloring indicates an inverse correlation with measures of fractional anisotropy. The sample consists of 63 participants who had no exposure to childhood sexual abuse, witnessing of domestic violence, parental or peer physical abuse, or parental verbal abuse and were free of axis I and II disorders.

Discussion Section from Martin Teicher’s Peer Abuse Study

Exposure to peer verbal abuse was associated with increased drug use and elevated psychiatric symptom ratings.

Substantial exposure was associated with a greater than twofold increase in clinically significant ratings of depression, a threefold to fourfold increase in anxiety and “limbic irritability,” and 10-fold increase in dissociation.

This level of peer verbal abuse was reported by 9.2% of participants who had no exposure to childhood sexual abuse, witnessing of domestic violence, or parental physical or verbal abuse and by 17.9% of the entire community sample. Hence, exposure to substantial levels of peer verbal abuse is a relatively common occurrence.

Moreover, the effects of childhood exposure to peer verbal abuse on risk of psychopathology in early adulthood mirror results we previously reported for parental verbal abuse (5). Thus, verbal aggression from peers is an important and potent childhood stressor.

Middle school was the peak period of exposure to peer verbal abuse, with 9.8% of our community sample newly exposed.

This finding fits with previous observations that peer physical aggression declines over the period from ages 8 to 18 while peer verbal abuse increases from ages 8 to 11, plateaus, and then declines from ages 15 to 18).”



More importantly, the timing of exposure appears to shape its impact. Path analysis suggests that exposure during the middle school years (ages 11–14) was the most consequential and was associated with symptoms of anxiety, depression, dissociation, “limbic irritability,” and degree of drug use.

Overall, there were no significant associations between these symptoms and degree of exposure during elementary or high school when degree of middle school exposure was excluded. However, exposure at early and later ages amplified the association between symptom ratings and middle school exposure, more than doubling the amount of variance explained.

This suggests that exposure during elementary and high school may sensitize or reinforce the effects of exposure during middle school.

These findings are consistent with previous reports indicating that exposure to peer verbal abuse in secondary school is more serious than peer verbal abuse during primary school .

This may be because children in primary school predominantly engage in dyadic relationships, which can attenuate the perceived impact of bullying outside the dyad.

Another perspective is also possible. We recently published data indicating that there are sensitive periods when brain regions are most susceptible to the effects of childhood sexual abuse . The hippocampus was most vulnerable to childhood sexual abuse occurring at ages 3–5 years and 11–13 years. It is possible that the hippo-campus is also susceptible to other forms of abuse occurring during these years. Anxiety, depression, dissociation, and temporal lobe epilepsy-like symptoms have all been associated with aspects of hippocampal function . Hippocampal volume was not assessed in this study.

Diffusion tensor imaging, however, revealed an association between degree of exposure to peer verbal abuse and measures of mean diffusivity, radial diffusivity, and fractional anisotropy in the splenium of the corpus callosum and the overlying corona radiata. The corpus callosum is a massive fiber tract interconnecting the left and right hemispheres. The corona radiata contains both descending and ascending axons that carry nearly all of the neural traffic to and from the cerebral cortex. Many of these axons pass through the corpus callosum. Studies suggest that alterations in radial diffusivity but not axial diffusivity, as observed, result from effects on myelin rather than axon numbers .

Corpus callosum alterations appear to be the most consistent finding in maltreated children, and it is perhaps remarkable that they emerged in a sample of comparison subjects with no axis I or II disorders.

The sensitive period for the splenium (the most caudal portion of the corpus callosum) likely occurs during the middle school years, given the rostral-caudal progression of corpus callosum myelination and our finding that the rostral body of the corpus callosum had a sensitive period between ages 9 and 10 .

It is interesting to speculate on how white matter alterations in the splenium might be related to elevated risk for depression, dissociation, or substance abuse. Fibers passing through the splenium interconnect the right and left occipital and inferior temporal cortices. Together these regions comprise the ventral visual processing stream, which has reciprocal connections with the hippocampus.

The visual cortex is a plastic structure that is extensively modified by early experience. We previously reported that exposure to childhood sexual abuse was associated with a 12%–18% reduction in gray matter volume in the right and left primary and secondary visual cortex. We have also found similar alterations in witnessing domestic violence (unpublished data). While the visual cortex plays a critical role in sensory perception, it may have additional functions.

A reproducible finding in major depression is a substantial reduction in occipital cortex g-aminobutyric acid (GABA), which is restored following treatment with antidepressants or ECT. Exposure to early stress may target GABA-ergic interneurons or fiber pathways of the visual cortex and increase risk for the development of mood disorders. We and others have also speculated that alterations in the corpus callosum may set the stage for dissociative phenomena by diminishing intrahemispheric integration.

It is also possible that lack of integration between right and left hemispheric processing of visual cues may lead to greater cue-induced craving in substance users and enhanced risk for abuse and dependence.

This study is unique for a number of reasons. First, it assessed and controlled for exposure to other forms of mal-treatment, such as childhood sexual abuse and parental verbal abuse. Second, it focused entirely on peer verbal abuse as a specific form of childhood trauma distinct from peer abuse involving physical assaults. Third, effects of exposure during different developmental stages were assessed based on our finding of “sensitive periods” when brain regions are particularly susceptible to abuse.”[8]

Further Reading

http://consumer.healthday.com/encyclopedia/children-s-health-10/child-development-news-124/yelling-at-children-verbal-abuse-648565.html [1]

http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/VB35C1.pdf [2]

http://bostonparentspaper.com/article/why-yelling-at-your-kids-never-works.htm l[3]

http://www.news.pitt.edu/news/yelling-doesn-t-help-may-harm-adolescents-pitt-led-study-finds [4]

http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/2003/05.22/01-brain.html [5]

http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2007/04/verbal-beatings-hurt-as-much-as-sexual-abuse/ [6]

http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/pdf/10.1176/ajp.2006.163.6.993 [7]

http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ajp.2010.10010030 [8]

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20483374 [9]

http://www.thebalancedmind.org/sites/default/files/Teicher.pdf [10]
http://cnsvp.stanford.edu/atlas/corpus_callosum.html [11]

http://drteicher.wordpress.com/2009/06/15/delayed-onset-of-depression/ [12]

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18692174 [13]


Post Script

I sincerely hope that this has been of value to this community. If so, please share. 
Thank you so much for taking the time to read.

As always, take care.

-Joel Patterson


  • 20

#379864 Joe Rogan & Ana Kasparian Discuss Stefan Molyneux's Insane Comments

Posted by Brentb on 24 August 2014 - 12:51 PM

Original Post:

Joe Rogan could use some therapy on why he feels the need to be agreeable to the point of being an ethical chameleon.





In seeing more of Joe Rogan, I think I was wrong in the above statement. Based on what I've heard in his interactions in other podcasts and videos, he is not someone who needs to be agreeable. He was probably just on drugs in this video.

  • 18

#388512 Feedback Requested: Accomplishing Goals, Getting Motivated

Posted by MMD on 07 November 2014 - 02:12 AM

Howdy all,


One of the most common questions in my inbox has to do with motivation and accomplishing goals. I'm pretty passionate about the topic and decided to record a podcast on the subject and throw it up here to see what people think.


Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!


Accomplishing Goals, Getting Motivated

  • 17

#362374 FoO art theme

Posted by Saarl on 14 April 2014 - 05:14 AM

Hello fellow members of the board!


I didn't know where to place the topic, so here it is.

I've just started working on FoO series in a visual form, anyone who is interested in using the art for their own projects - feel free to go to dA and download the image. I'll be posting more as soon as I get it done.


Here's a link: http://saarl.deviant...lery:Saarl&qo=0



Posted Image


  • 17

#350905 Stefan's lack of integrity with Chomsky interview

Posted by Stefan Molyneux on 02 January 2014 - 03:26 AM

Thanks for the feedback, it might be premature to accuse me of lacking integrity without understanding the purpose and limitations of the conversation. My knowledge of Chomsky is almost exclusively limited to his criticisms of US foreign policy, and international war crimes in general, which I share and enthusiastically endorse. I also appreciate his approach to the universalization of ethics, which I also share. I understand that he is an anarchist, which means that he prefers a stateless society, with all of the attendant social experimentation that will inevitably result. I have never heard him advocate the initiation of force to achieve his ideal society; once there is no government, 1000 flowers will surely bloom!


I had a little over 20 minutes, which is not enough for any kind of substantial debate, and also, I had asked for an interview, rather than a debate, which is very important. If you ask someone for a debate, they must spend a lot more time preparing, and actually debating, which would have probably resulted in not having access to him at all. I don't like to ask for an interview, and then spring a debate on someone who is largely unprepared for my perspective, I consider that quite impolite, and certainly don't like it when that kind of ambushing is done to me.


I am certainly interested in reaching out to left-leaning anarchists and libertarians, just as I am to right-wing libertarians who remain statists, and I haven't noticed a lot of people criticizing me for having minarchist libertarians on my show, without criticizing them for supporting the state.


I would really like for those interested in Chomsky's views to get interested in this podcast, I think it would be really helpful for them to hear the argument for anarcho capitalism.


I hope that helps at least explain my thinking on the matter, I don't think that I have lacked courage or directness when engaged in a debate, but that was not the format of my conversation with Dr. Chomsky.

  • 17

#386545 Offering Therapy Services through Skype

Posted by courtneycm on 19 October 2014 - 07:00 PM

Hi everyone,


I was introduced to FDR in 2009, and since then have taken a radical journey in self-knowledge. I'm very pleased that this path has taken me towards wanting to help others heal, and I have opened an online therapy practice to help me do that!


I am currently enrolled in a Master's in Counseling program but more for the credibility and legality of practicing in the US. Most of my education has come from thousands of hours of journaling, extensive reading of books on rationality, self-knowledge, and psychotherapy, breaking from my family of origin, and exploring the world by living and working in other countries. I have been a client of therapy in the Internal Family Systems model since 2011 and have found (and continue to find) immense value in having the support of a therapeutic environment to help me process. 


My approach is greatly influenced by the idea of parts and I am very comfortable with using Internal Family Systems approach. That said, I am also influenced by other approaches, mainly existential and experientially based therapies, so sessions wouldn't necessarily be strictly IFS. 


I offer flexible scheduling and rates. Much more information can be found on my website, The Uncharted Self, if you have more questions.


Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing from you!



  • 16

#385602 Child Abuse Intervention at Barnes And Noble

Posted by Joel Patterson on 11 October 2014 - 05:44 AM

It happened in Barnes and Noble. I had just stopped at the Personal Growth section, as I'm one to do. I was looking to find a book entitled "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" or something like that. Beside me, sat a woman on the floor in the "indian style" position. Next to her, also on the floor, was a young boy who looked to be the age of 7. My goal was to find something to help me process unpleasant memories of my mother that had been triggered just the day before. Before I even got a good gander at the books, I see the lady quite forcefully swat the boy's backside, which created that oh so familiar and dreadful popping sound distinctive of slapping human skin. I didn't catch how it escalated to that point, but it didn't matter. It was fucking hostile.  Without hesitation I looked down on her and scolded her, with anger and conviction, "Ma'm, that is really inappropriate! You don't hit kids" She said something to the liking of, "I'm sorry you feel that way " "No!", I pointed at the books, "no where will you find in these books that hitting kids is appropriate" I mean, she was in  a personal growth section for goodness sake. She then thanked me sarcastically for letting her know about my perception, which I'm beginning to see as a common bullshit defense from these child abusers. Luckily, since I had encountered this before during my last intervention, I was ready to reply with what I wished I would have said last time. "You're welcome", I said.  I started to walk away, but stopped once I remembered something very important.  I turned around, walked to the boy's side, kneeled down to his level, looked him in the eyes and said, ""Hey, Man. nobody should hit you, okay?" "Okay", he whispered while simultaneously nodding his head in agreement.  Now that I attended to my injured comrade, I was ready to depart.  Don't ignore the call of duty, people. We're philosophers and this is our responsibilitiy. I know it can be difficult, but trust me. Please trust me. it's worth it. As Emma Watson said, "If not us, then who? If not now, than when?" I hope that helps.  Take care,  Joel

  • 16

#393187 Child Abuse Intervention at Wal-Mart

Posted by Joel Patterson on 27 December 2014 - 12:27 AM

I just walked away from one of the most difficult child abuse interventions, yet. 

As I was walking into wall mart, I see a black woman hit her what looked to be a 3 year old son on the arm and snapped at him to "come here."

I walked over to the lady and said to her, "I understand parenting is difficult, but you shouldn't hit children."

Things escalated incredibly quickly. 

First she asked if I had any kids. 

I said yes(which wasn't true) and then she told me to worry about them. 

I told her, "I knew you were going to say that."

She then started an incredibly racist sentence about how she don''t care how "ya'll white people raise your kids". "These are my kids."

"I know you don't  care. You shouldn't hit children." I said in return. It was I this point my anxiety was so strong 
I felt my brain shutting down, I had tunnel vision. I could barely get words out of my mouth.

She then went on to say that if I don't leave she'd 'put me down' right then and there because she was from detroit. 

The wal-mart greeter than walked over, smiling ,a young black male, and shook his hands and head indicating that I drop it. 

I then walked away, but did say to the child that nobody should hit him. I feel really angry and really depressed, powerless, and helpless about the whole thing now and I'm not sure why. 

I also feel an intense amount of disgust and hatred for people like her. 

  • 15

#383654 Obviously we are not all Godless here

Posted by dsayers on 24 September 2014 - 03:16 AM

@corbyco: Hi there. What is it you hope to gain from this forum? You mention a lack of integrity but provide no frame of reference. You mention a lack of respect with regards to Christianity as if respect is automatic and not earned. Later on, you mention corrupt "scientists" as if that invalidates the objective scientific method. These things seem like an effort to marginalize scrutiny, otherwise known as bias confirmation. You cannot find the truth without scrutiny. This is important because I sometimes see people describing their ideas being scrutinized as personal attacks which simply isn't the case.


Since you mentioned lack of integrity as cause for concern, I wanted to point out that "incredible experiences that I can only label as spiritual" lacks integrity. What incredible experiences? What does spiritual mean? Perhaps this is my bias, but I read this as, "I cannot explain it, therefore the explanation must be supernatural." THIS would be a corruption of the scientific method. As is believing something just because some dead guy said it. Like Einstein was a pretty smart dude. All the same, if he ever stated that 2+2=5, he'd be wrong. Just as if he stated 2+2=4, it's true because it's true, not because he said it.


Out of curiosity, if you were raised atheist, how did you come to describe yourself as a Christian? I know you said your read the Bible beginning to end, but one would expect this to discourage faith, not invoke it.


@Shane: You forgot the, "Oh and if you don't obey, I'm going to torture you with fire for all eternity," part. Guessing the right answer isn't the same as arriving at the correct answer by way of sound methodology. Not stealing from, assaulting, raping, and murdering other people is moral because it's logically consistent. Not because somebody specific is credited with saying it.

  • 15

#379907 Joe Rogan & Ana Kasparian Discuss Stefan Molyneux's Insane Comments

Posted by Ray H. on 24 August 2014 - 07:18 PM

I had a different take on Rogan in this interview. He remains critical of Kasparian throughout. She just doesn't get it. Rogan only laughs when Kasparian calls Stefan names (motherfucker, bitch, snarky piece of shit.) I think he's laughing AT her, not with her. At no point, while she is ranting about Stefan, does he mutter in agreement or nod in approval. He sits there silently and barely even smiles. When he does speak, he's mostly trying to point out to Kasparian that she is participating in what he believes is an inefficient back-and-forth. Perhaps, he was trying to nudge her into considering an actual debate/conversation with Stefan (or Corolla) instead of youtube responses. She poopooed that idea. 


As for him agreeing with her about "dumb listeners" defooing with Stef's encouragement, he didn't seem to be familiar with what she was talking about and was merely suggesting that, if what she said was true (and it wasn't), then those people are dumb. 


His one actual criticism of Stefan, about not breeding with assholes, was poorly argued. In fact, he argued Stef's point which would be: once you find out someone's an asshole, don't fuck them anymore.

  • 15

#365939 A Letter to Myself

Posted by psquared on 10 May 2014 - 12:54 PM

Dear Sweet Polly,


Your family of origin is wrong, wrong, wrong about you.  You have some people in your life who greatly admire your courage, integrity and perseverance.  Especially in the face of the intensely unhealthy and sadistic past you survived!  Let me tell you that again, Polly.  You survived!  Daddy can't scowl at you any more, rage around and terrify you.  You have me now, Polly.  Me.  I have finally started to learn how to listen to you and just how much you suffered.  Mommy and Daddy are not able to hurt you anymore. 


Michael doesn't know what love is.  You showed him a trueness and courage that he is too afraid to see.  It exposes him and the sick and twisted dance of his family of origin.  Polly, my sweet, kind, genuine, loving little girl, his stories and injustices do not diminish the amazing progress you have made.  In spite of a culture which pronouced you permanently flawed and broken to the point of needing daily psych meds, you had the courage to question the true and painful origin of your depression.  You had the courage to shed the cloak of a multi-generational pattern of avoidance, betrayal, narcissism, and rage.  You decided you wanted to know, to truly know, what the truth of your history was.  Were you always skillful as you tumbled, tripped, soared and plunged through the graveyard of your family's history?  No, but you have an unbelievable hunger to continue learning.  You really do get only one life to live. 


You know the saying, "Don't cast your pearls before swine"?  Polly, Polly, Polly, Michael is a swine.  He is duplicitous and cunning.  He does not know how to own himself.  You have spent so many years trying to make him see your shining light.  I know, I know that it hurts to look at that length of time passing.  A decade-plus is going to take us a long time to heal but we can do it.  Please guard your beauty, the beauty of your soul, the amazing intensity of your capacity for love. 


Just think of all the times you have become panicked and scared at work.  You have cried, ranted, and said some pretty irrational things.  What did Brett do?  He sat with you through it all. He has never attacked you nor denigrated you.  He has never attacked your character.  He knows what ad hominems are and he will not resort to those.  He has appeared to get anxious and wanting to fix your pain but he could sort of talk about that and in any case, he has never crossed the line of turning his anxiety upon you in a cruel way.  He reassured you and showered you with appreciation, admiration, and praise.  This, Polly, this is what you deserve from the people you let into your life.  You never ever deserved the incredible cruelty inflicted upon you by adults who knew better.  You were trapped, Polly, trapped as surely as an inmate in a cage.  That is not the truth now.  It really isn't.  You are not trapped.  Michael is a trap.  He is a chameleon and changes colors to suit the situation.  He desperately needs to be liked by everyone even if it means betraying you.  This is unhealthy for you.  As it is, I am going to have to sit and talk with you everyday but you can't go back to this dance.  It is a crazy, crazy dance Polly.  It is making you hardened and suspicious of love.  You don't want that.  You can't control the stories he is spinning to make himself out to be the victim of your imprisonment.  Does it matter if non-thinking people believe him?  The people who know you will never believe those lies.  The shame and embarrassment around the dissolution of this terrible web of deceit is not yours.  Send it back to his mother and father, his stepfather, his brother, your parents and their parents and your siblings.  This shame is not yours.  Do not carry it for them.  It was a fantasy that you were stuck in for a long, long time.  Michael has hurt you deeply.  He rejected you and was cruel to you.  You were a great receptacle for all the feelings he refused to feel.  Remember your frustration?  It was completely correct.  He wanted you to feel for him.  All that grief, sadness, and rage, all the tears that he was too afraid to let fall for the little, innocent boy he was so long ago.  Seeing you grieve the loss of your childhood was too much for him to bear. 


You deserve to fully recognize the vastness of who you really are.  You deserve to feel safe and content.  You deserve to listen to all your parts with openness, kindness, compassion, and curiosity.  I am here.  I am willing to do whatever it takes.  I will hold your hand, stroke your hair and be present for you while we sort through the wreckage of a collapsed fantasy.  I will show you that I will not let you fall into this trap again.  You can count on me now.  When you want to die because you are certain there is no way out?  I am here; I will do anything to show you life.  Your path is glorious and brave and we can do this. 


Why are mistakes embarrassing?  They don't have to be!  You learned that from your parents.  They needed you to believe that so you wouldn't be able to see their complete and utter lack of desire to improve, understand and grow.  Think of all the books you have read about people who have made life easier for mankind.  They made mistakes.  It sounds trite, I know, but they kept going and changed course so as not to make the same mistake.  Let us not dwell on the mean things that Michael has said, the cruelty of Daddy's words, the abandonment of Mommy.  I am here now.  We have resources now.  You have so much joy and creativity within you.  I know that you don't know how it will be expressed.  That's okay.  It does not mean that you are stupid or inept.  Keep feeling your way forward Polly.  You have amazing instincts when you listen.  Let's listen more; let's follow the guidance of empiricism, reason, logic, philosophy.  You're allowed to have standards and criteria for truth.  You're allowed to have a definition of love which is not mangled by fear. 


You realize that Michael claiming you have no laughter is an absurd cruelty, don't you?  Polly, it's not much different than Daddy threatening to hit you again for crying from the first time he hit you and then criticizing you for having no sense of humor.  Michael only saw you through the distorted and warped lens of his evil and corrupt, abusive parents.  You could not win.  It was an impossible situation.  He sought at almost every turn to paralyze your capacity to reason.  He chose not to learn how to listen to and defend his own inner boy.  He chose the path of anti-life.  Remember Stef's podcast, 'Playing Cards with the Dead'?  You were playing house with the dead.  Emerge back to life Polly.  No one was there for you for many, many years.  I know that you are still baffled sometimes by the enormity of the injustice inflicted upon you.  I will listen with an open heart to those stories about your kittens, Tinkerbell, and Bingo.  As long as you need to tell them, I will listen.  But you have choices now.  And you have people who will not lie to you, who will stand toe to toe with you and gently but surely ask you to see who you really are.  They will question you in a way that helps you know yourself better.  You can trust me now.  I will not betray you again.  I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to work on these things.  It's okay, Polly, even if we only make half a step a day, I will be here.  WE are what make us whole, no one else.  There is no magic cure held by anyone outside of us. 


Remember that your feelings are transient.  Michael will never fix your loneliness.  He will never seek true connection wrapped in the clumsy and cruel layers of his false self.  Remember that you cannot inflict philosophy on anyone.  Think of all the times in your life that you tried.  It's incredibly frustrating.  You can't turn a non-thinking person into a thinking person with the force of your words.  You knew this as a teenager when you wrote this poem:


My pen is a


And I will kill this paper

With my words.


I know that you have created a million different arguments over the years to make people see you.  It won't work Polly.  But what I want you to hear is that I see you now.  You don't have to argue your case to me.  I'm on your side, always.  I promise.  I might not do it perfectly but I promise to hone my ability to hear you.  If we have to write 10,000 pages to understand your terror, we will.  If it takes all night, I'm here.  The worst has already happened and we're going to keep surviving until we're thriving.  That sounds dumb?  Why? 


You don't have to hide yourself any longer.  Mere existence is not all there is.  You know that big, expansive feeling you get in your body when you see an amazing vista?  When the mountains sing to you?  When the sound sparkles in the sun and the clouds sweep the sky?  When you feel the joy of being alive?  You get to experience that more often.  You were born for that, Polly, not the hideous, wretched cruelty of your childhood.  Embrace yourself and all that you stand for.

  • 15

#396862 Help: I like this girl...

Posted by TheBen on 16 February 2015 - 12:39 AM


  • 14

#370113 My first intervention in a public abuse of children

Posted by Timur on 15 June 2014 - 02:02 PM

Hi all, I really wanted to share some details of this event that took place earlier today. I'm feeling really proud about this and had to share it.
I had just parked at my workplace and was walking through the car-park when I witnessed a man verbally abusing his children. His two sons were backed against the large 4-wheel-drive with the shopping trolley between them and a man who was probably their father. He was very tall and the children were very small, the older of them maybe 6 or 7 and he was probably over 6 foot. He was bent at the waist which invoked in me the image of a cave wall towering over the children. They were looking downward and holding their hands behind their backs looking quite afraid.
I walked past them but about 20 meters away until they were obscured by a corner but after a few steps I turned back and walked toward them. I stood some distance and shouted out "excuse me". The man seemed to shrink in stature. He said timidly "huh?". He obviously knew what this was about and his demeanour betrayed an "I-I-I didn't do nuthin'."
I continued with "I'm a fully grown man about 20 meters away from you and you're terrifying me." Pointing at my chest while my weight was on my front foot. Then pointing at the children but looking at him I said "I can't imagine what you're doing to those children." He didn't say anything but rather looked back down at his shopping, not at me and not at the children.
He clearly knew he was doing something wrong. I hope the children were helped by this in some way, maybe they'll better understand that it is their father who is the wrong-doer and not they.
I walked away with wobbly legs but feeling taller, and thinking to myself this is what life is about.
I feel empowered and more confident than ever that I will not accept abuse inflicted upon myself or other innocents ever again.
Thanks for reading.

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#343960 Bitcoin: Getting Started

Posted by Wesley on 03 November 2013 - 05:34 PM

Bitcoin: Getting Started


What is Bitcoin?


Bitcoin is a decentralized digital cryptocurrency. Please review this video:




For anyone looking for a more advanced overview, here is the Khan Academy Bitcoin Course Playlist:




Bitcoin Terms:


Address (Public Address): These are the parts of the Blockchain which denote where the bitcoins are. Anyone can generate an address and begin receiving bitcoins. The address can be made public in order to receive bitcoins.


Bitcoin, BTC: The Cryptographic bits of data that can be exchanged as a payment system. Bitcoins are divisible a theoretical infinite number of times. There are several names for these divisions including BitCents (BTC x 10-2), mBTC (BTC x 10-3), uBTC (BTC x 10-6) and Satoshi (BTC x 10-9).


Block Chain: This is the P2P transaction ledger for Bitcoin. All transactions are stored on the ledger and on every computer connected to the bitcoin network. Older transactions are compressed for efficiency, however it still can take some time to update when a computer has been off for a while.


Confirmation: It is possible that bitcoins could be sent fraudulently (through double spends, etc). However, the system is constantly being audited by miners. If a transaction is successful, then it will start acquiring confirmations. It is considered to be guaranteed correct if it has acquired 6 confirmations.  You may decide how many confirmations you wish to wait for. Increasing your fee will prioritize the transaction to the miners and will make transactions get confirmed faster. If you do not care how long the transaction takes, you can send the transaction fee free. A significant fee to make the transaction occur quickly is still very small.


Difficulty: Bitcions are mathematically released and the difficulty it is to get bitcions is constantly adjusted in order to regulate the release of coins. If coins are being released too fast (more people start mining as BTC price rises) then the difficulty will increase making mining less profitable.

Double Spend: A user will try to send bitcoins to 2 addresses simultaneously. The software thinks it has enough coin for both transactions when in reality it does not. Thus, the user is attempting to multiply his purchasing power. This is why miners are auditing the system in order to prevent such fraud.


Hash Rate: The rate at which a miner’s (or the bitcoin network) calculates problems for auditing and verifying the blockchain. At the time of writing this, the bitcion network’s hash rate is 4,000,000 Gh/s which means that it performs 4 million billion calculations a second.


Key (Private Key): This is what allows you to send the bitcoins in an address. If you lose your private key, you can look at bitcoins in a wallet but you will not be able to send them. Public Addresses can be generated from Private Keys, but Private Keys cannot be figured out from Public Addresses.


Mining/Miners: Miners use mining equipment to audit the bitcoin system. They are rewarded with bitcoins as they are being released into the network on a regular, planned basis. Once all bitcoins are released, mining will still continue but will survive on the transaction fees.


Mixing: There may be a time where you wish to send coins in a way that is anonymous. A mixing service will allow you to send coins into a pool where your coins get sent somewhere unrelated to the recipient of the coins. The recipient will then get coins from someone else who sent them to the pool. Current fees are around 1%


P2P: Peer-to-peer system where there is no central location where the data is stored. It is on everyone’s computer and is shared between users. This means there is no central system you have to go through and shutting down one node will change nothing about the system as a whole.


Signature: If one wishes to make known that an address belongs to them, they can transmit a digital signature to the network. This will cause you to lose anonymity.


Taint: If coins are sent from one address to another, the system “remembers” where the coins have been. This is called taint. Tainted coins can be mixed and sent to a new address if desired. Taint can potentially lead to linking addresses, but because of mixing it makes it impossible to trace.


Wallet: This is the collection of addresses that you own is said to be stored in a wallet. If you use the standard software, the file that stores your addresses is wallet.dat.


Can Bitcion be Hacked?


The Bitcoin Math itself cannot be hacked unless you took the power of the sun and converted it into computing power for a couple million years. This is theoretically possible, but practically impossible.




The weakness in bitcoin is not the math. There are a few ways in which bitcoin has vulnerabilities.


The 51% attack:


If there was a situation in which someone can get enough computing power in order to overcome the entire bitcoin system (own 51% of it) then their miners could approve the transactions they want to the detriment of actual valid transactions. The longer bitcoin goes on and the more popular it gets, the more impossible it is for this to happen. Currently, it would take a few super computers to overcome the system and is quickly becoming nearly impossible.




The main thing you want to be concerned about is YOUR security. The weakness in bitcoin is not the math of bitcoin, but you not having good protection of your private keys. If you store your private keys in a wallet.dat file on your computer, then I will not try to hack bitcoin. I will hack your computer and copy that file. Thus, precautions must be taken.


How Can I Get an Address/Wallet?


Computer Client (Think Checking Account)


There are several ways to get an address/wallet. If you are just going to dip into the bitcoin network and want an easy way to send small amounts of coin, then the best method is to use one of the many programs available for bitcoin wallets.




The Bitcoin-Qt is the backbone of the network and the main base client if you want to start.


Armory Client is a feature-rich client that I currently use. It allows paper back-ups and many other things.


Encrypting a Wallet:


If you want to add one step up to your protection, both of those clients allow you to encrypt your wallet by using a passphrase. Make sure the passphrase is complicated. An easy passphrase just creates a vulnerability. You can get a good enough encryption in order to make it pretty secure to store some coins.


Backing Up a Wallet:


You can copy a wallet.dat file onto a thumb drive, cd, or even write your private key on a piece of paper. In case of a hard drive failure, you do not want to lose your coins.


Cold Wallets (Think Savings Account):


In order to take away the vulnerabilities to your computer, then you can print out an only paper wallet. You can use the public address to send coins into the wallet and only import the private key at some point in the future when you wish to spend those coins. Some especially paranoid (or they just have a loooot of bitcoins) people will buy a computer that has never touched the internet in order to generate the address and then destroy the computer.


For a full description as to how to generate a good paper wallet, read this link:




If you want to generate some paper wallets, you can go here (be sure to move your mouse around as it helps make the address generation more random):




There are many other cold storage options (and you can come up with your own) but here are some examples that are out there.








Many more are probably in use that people do not wish to share.


How Do I Get Bitcoins?




There are many exchanges available. If you wish to look at the list:




Coinbase has been used and is trusted by a few FDR users. 


*Update: Since making this thread, I have created an account at Coinbase and would highly recommend them for purchasing bitcoins.


*Update #2: MMD also has used Coinbase and set up an FDR affiliate link. By using this link to create an account and purchasing at least $100 worth of bitcoin, Coinbase will give FDR $5 worth of bitcoin. A great way for you to get bitcoin and indirectly send a little tip for some of the work Stef and Mike have been doing around bitcoin lately.


This link is now the FDR affiliate link:




One of the easiest ways to get bitcoins is to use LocalBitcoins.com (https://localbitcoins.com/).  LocalBitcoins allows you to meet up with people (at a public place to prevent theft) and trade BTC for money.  Make sure to wait for confirmations before leaving a local bitcoin exchange unless you trust the other person [high rating] (and make sure you give a transaction fee to the network so that this happens in a reasonable amount of time.) If you have any worries at all in a local exchange, do not buy and just check the next person on the list. Bad feelings can easily let you just abort the exchange at any time.


Besides exchanging money, there are other options.


Faucet Sites:


These sites pay you to look at ads or watch videos. I run them sometimes in the background when I’m going to be on the internet all day anyway. You will not make a lot of money on this (a couple cents an hour maybe?) However, if you are just looking for a small amount to tip people with or just a free way to dip in, then faucet sites may be for you.

I have used bitvisitor.com in the past.




Create an address and put it in your signature in forums or on your website. When you produce content people enjoy, they may send you a tip.




Accept payment for goods or services in bitcoin. Especially if you think prices will go up (or bitcoin just has fewer fees) you can provide discounts for customers who pay in bitcoin.




I would HIGHLY recommend against this until you have spent a lot of time on bitcointalk.org and know what you are doing with mining. Mining can lose you money if you get the wrong equipment. However, some people (especially where power is free or very cheap) are able to make money mining for bitcoins.


Of course there are probably many other ways to earn BTC, but these are the basics.


Can I Accept Bitcoins Without Having to Hold the Bitcions?


Bitpay (https://bitpay.com/) and other bitcoin payment providers allow people to accept bitcoins and get a check for the value of bitcoins at the end of the day. This allows people to accept bitcoins as payment, but not worry about potential fluctuations in price in the bitcoin market.


How Can I Send Bitcoins?


If you have the coins on a cold wallet, import them into a client. Select “send bitcoins” or the equivalent. Make sure the transaction fee is set where you want it to be. Paste/Type the public address of where you would like them sent. Paste/Type the amount. DOUBLE CHECK THE AMOUNT AND ADDRESS!!! There are no chargebacks with bitcoin and someone may keep excess coins that are sent if they choose to. If you send to the wrong address, then it is most likely that that person will keep them (or they will never be seen again if you somehow really messed up). There are checks in the system to correct toward real addresses; however, double checking should always be performed. Send the coins.


What Can I Buy with Bitcoins?


A list has somewhat been compiled here:




However, there are probably many, many more who are not on that list and accept bitcoin. 


An open-source map of bitcoin-friendly businesses has been started here:




Even if you do not end up getting bitcoin, but enjoy the idea it would be awesome if you supported bitcoin-friendly buinesses in your area with fiat dollars as well as with bitcoin if you wish.


Where Can I Learn More?
















And many more...



At this point I will take a break and ask for feedback. I probably made mistakes, so I would be happy to hear corrections.


Do you have a question I didn’t answer? I will answer it below and if I think enough people will have the same question, I will edit this post so that others do not have that question at the end.


If you want more information on a topic, I may have some sources or can create another post about it.


Thanks for reading!

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