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finally confirming suspicion on sexually abused child. Help!


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10 replies to this topic

#1
Sashajade

Sashajade

  • 46 posts

 How can i make sure that it will stop without going about it the wrong way? I have to keep it on down low big time.

I can't explain whole story right now, its just that i dont want to wait too long for the right time to act.

I need to get the ball rolling tho, I will do whatever to intervene.


maybe i shouldn't post this, kinda impulsive, its a sensitive issue.


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#2
Rainbow Jamz

Rainbow Jamz

    That Popular Anti-Social Guy


  • 765 posts

Don't hesitate to act. Take action as soon as you've gained the courage to do what is neccessary and follow through with it. That may include talking to the abuser about it first and see if they can reform (small chance of that) or if they'll justify what they do. At that point, take it to the authorities. Dont know how you'll get evidence of it but somehow you gotta just get it to stop.


  • 0

Nothing is permanent, only short term or long term.


#3
Magenta

Magenta

  • 139 posts
Please listen to podcast 777 "Children in Crisis", it covers this exact topic.


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-36 This post by STer is below the user reputation threshold. View it anyway?

#5
Shqiptar

Shqiptar
  • 9 posts

Make sure you know exactly how your child feels and views the situation. If they are clearly upset and scared deal with it right away in the best way you can given the situation, the abuser, and your child.


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#6
Sashajade

Sashajade

  • 46 posts

  It's a friend's child whom i remained close to. I had lived with them for awhile. Her mother and I had a falling out, but I remained in touch

with another mutual friend and the child to check on how she's doing and what's been going on. Yes i made another report, i had actually made

one a long time ago but it was for neglect the first time. I later learned how inefficient child protective services is about looking into reports.

so i didn't continue with it. i did use them again, but this time im going to continue checking up. Also reporting any additional evidence that

i may find or remember. It will end as long as i can do anything about it. I'll update everyone when this is stopped.


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#7
xelent

xelent

  • 2168 posts

How do you feel talking with this parent Sasha?.. I'm assuming that perhaps isn't possible, given the falling out you described.


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#8
Rainbow Jamz

Rainbow Jamz

    That Popular Anti-Social Guy


  • 765 posts

what kind of evidence are you finding anyway?


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Nothing is permanent, only short term or long term.


#9
Shqiptar

Shqiptar
  • 9 posts

what kind of evidence are you finding anyway?


Yes without this info it is hard to give at least decent advise.
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#10
SteveHein

SteveHein
  • 16 posts

hug sasha - this has got to be really hard for u to know about. and hard to try to figure out what the best thing to do is. my eyes got watery thinking of how difficult this is for u and the girl. u have a lot of responsibility on u. i feel for u. really i do.

 

i have also had the same kind of bad experiences with basically every single institution i have had any thing to do with. so that puts even more responsibility on u. how nice it would be if we could just call someone else. but in my many years of experience now, that just hasnt happened. once when i reported something the lady who was taking the report actually started lecturing and judging me. and she never did anything with the info.

 

i work mostly with emotional abuse cases so those are even more hopeless when it comes to reporting. a social worker in australia told me once they dont even try to prosecute those cases because they are simply too hard to win and the parents are too smart to get found guilty and they dont have enough resources even for the physical and sexual abuse cases.

 

my two cents is try to keep ur connection with the girl. u can be her enlightened witness if u know what that means. it is an alice miller term and i think it is probably better than a therapist. and definitely less expensive and also in this case the girl won't be seeing a therapist it seems so u are pretty much her only "witness" - u understand abuse so i have a lot of faith in u and ur instincts.

 

but still it is a huge responsibility to know this info. i have been there in a lot of cases so i can relate. hug again


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#11
Josh F

Josh F

    Thought Terrorist


  • 749 posts

Do anything and everything humanly posible immediately, involve the state, involve anyone.  There is no time to waste.  And why are you associated with these people?


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