Retroactive consent is not always related to life-saving situations, could we have an example with less of a life-boat situation.
The situation is only unique because of a lack of knowledge on the part of the aggressed. When it comes to a parent dictating that one is tired however, there is no lack of information on the part of the child about whether they are tired, and would rather take the risk of tiring themselves into mad exhaustion rather than submit to the rationale of sleeping and returnng at another time. If the childs choice is exhaustion, then preventing it is violation of the NAP at that time, whether they comprehend and forgive "best interests" at a later date is irrelevant. Claiming otherwise, especially in the case of a child who suffers from a relatively short attention span and a great likelihood to forgive parents, is akin to justifying abuse to a human being if you have the ability to wipe their minds clean of the event afterwards - or worse, similar to the justification of childhood circumcision which claims the children will not remember the pain.
Note, I have not heard the Podcast that this concept was originally brought up about, and my comments are not about Stef, only responding directly to the post above and the idea that retroactive consent somehow reshapes aggression.
I also found this comment by Stephan disapointing.
No, that's not aggression. I frankly think it's silly and ridiculous to characterize it this way."
While Stephan is a far above average parent, this comment still seems to mimic the psychology of the average parent. It offers no justification for shooting down a valid NAP criticism, seemingly because the concept left his comfort zone. Parents who do not believe spanking is abuse or aggression often word their responses in the same manner, in the belief that the new concept is so outrageous it is not worthy of discussion. While he may be completely 100% right that the stated interaction was not aggression, the response itself is unhelpful.
We cannot draw a line in the sand when it comes to our children and their wellbeing. To rule out a single criticism or piece of advise without a full understanding of it and its errors, because they question our Status Quo - however positive that status quo already is - is far from productive.
For what it's worth, I have taken alot away from the discussion between Stef and Stephan that I am sure will be useful for my parenting, but that doesn't mean we don't all have a lot to learn. To paraphrase Stef, expecting a good parent in the here and now - one who could possibly have a valid reason to not show exactly why a particular criticism is wrong - is like expeting to find a good doctor in the 13th century.