The following is a shorthand reference of the principles laid out in the first 2 podcasts of the Philosophical Parenting series. I thought it would be helpful for folks interested in becoming parents to have it on-hand, when thinking about how they want to be, as parents.
Stef: Feel free to correct any mischaracterizations or misstatements in my paraphrasings.
1. The "As If It Were Voluntary" Standard: The relationship of child to parent is essentially a state of involuntary dependency. Therefore, any aggression by the parent toward the child - whether in the form of verbal or physical violence; or, physical or emotional withdrawal, constitutes a violation of the non-aggression principle, and an abuse of that relationship. In other words, it is the obligation of the parent, to insure that the child's experience of the relationship were as if it were voluntary.
2. The "Free Market" Standard: 'Discipline' is a false concept. There is only incentive and compulsion (or the threat of compulsion). Since compulsion requires a violation of the first principle, incentive is the only valid method of behavior modification in that set of choices. Since children are designed to emulate the parent, the most effective method of teaching desired behavior, is to model that behavior. This means: behavior modification is first and foremost, an obligation on the parent, not the child.
3. The "Ex-Post Facto Permission" Standard: The imposition of will, as a parent, is a necessity - but only validly so, in circumstances in which it is clear that the child would agree (when old enough), that it was indeed in her best interest. Such cases might include interventions to insure the immediate safety of the child, or the regulation and maintainence of the optimum health of the child, long-term. In addition, this standard goes both ways: the parent is obligated to anticipate choices for the family that, while inconvenient or uncomfortable for the adult, are directed toward satisfying the mental and emotional needs of the child (something they presumably would also grant ex-post facto permission for).
4. The Enthusiasm Effect: Children are interested in pleasing their parents. Demonstrating pleasure in clear and strong ways, obviates the need to show displeasure in strong ways. This necessarily diminishes the possibility for verbal aggression to creep into the relationship. It is the parent-child equivalent of negative versus positive economics.
5. Children Are Natural Philosphers: Humility - absolute acceptance of empirical reality and the evidence of the senses, relaxed determination in attempting to achieve a goal, willingness to defer to help in the frustration of that goal, and other observations.
6. The Power Of Humility: as stated, children are a fountain of natural wisdom, from which parents can augment and expand their own learning and growth process. Without the humility to ask the question, "what can I learn from my child", both parent and child suffer from diminishment. This kind of humility is another way in which the parent can create opportunities for the child to contribute in meaniful ways to the family. What's more, Philosophical Parenting is not possible without humility, because if there's a problem with the relationship, the parent must be willing to accept the responsibility for that problem.