I'm at my wits end.
I'm curious what was going on for you when you wrote this part. Could you help us to understand this aspect of your post a bit better?
I have run out of ideas. I don't know where to go from here. I don't have the wits to figure out how to solve this issue, which, is why I'm posting about it. Are you curious as to my psychological/emotional state of being during this post? Or just, why I wrote, "I'm at my wits end?"
That part certainly jumped out at me when I read your post so yes, I was curious what your motivations were or if you had even stopped to consider what your motivations were in writing that.
I must admit to experiencing intense, I mean flamingly angry, negative emotion after reading your post-- I'm not saying you caused it or 'you're bad' or anything like that, however that emotion was immediately followed by a strong desire to lash out at you, which I'm trying very hard not to do-- if I fail, I will try to make amends if I can.
I respectfully ask you to take a step back from your situation for a moment and look at the various participants in your conundrum.
Why are you not protecting this poor child?
Surely you're aware of the long lasting and extremely difficult to solve mental and physical problems which arise for people who are violently verbally abused when they soil themselves as children? My firsthand experience with this as well as the experiences of perhaps half a dozen other people with whom I speak regularly who suffered from this kind of assault is that it is only one of many different types of abuse being perpetrated against the child-- in other words, a parent or caretaker who is so unbelievably despicable as to scream at their child for soiling themselves is also engaging freely in many other forms of abuse.
Help me to understand what you don't understand about the damage these people are doing to a completely innocent 3 year old child? Why have you not intervened? How can I help to stop this abuse?
"Use the flame of knowledge to light candles, not peoples' hair"-- S. Molyneux