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Hi, I'm facing a difficult problem in my life, I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing or what I should be doing. Plus my family are giving lots of quite contradictory advice, some which is quite painful and others comforting. Basically I'm very confused.

I'm at university, last year I was on my second year studying music, I got into a serious creative block and ended up relapsing after getting ridiculously behind in work and had to return home. This year I changed major to mathematics thinking that this would get round my problem - it's a subject I'm very interested in, but it doesn't require such a creative frame set.

The year started off fine, however, things have been getting worse. It was after a cold a few weeks ago I had which meant I got slightly behind in work, I just haven't felt like doing any work or turning up since. My cold now still there slightly but isn't any bother, but I'm still feeling incredible tiredness, it's difficult to get out of bed before midday, and I still don't have any urge or the will power to get the work done. I've even in the last few days missed going in for lectures all together. Weirdly enough though, I don't seem to be panicking about this.

Here's where the problem lies. My instincts are telling me not to carry on with the subject since I'm not getting any satisfaction from it, but I'm concerned that it could just be a reaction to being behind. Also, these problems I'm having now are very similar to what I had last year which ended badly when I tried to push on. I feel I probably could push myself to do the work, but it would be going directly against my instincts and I would need to force myself to do it. Another problem is if I do decide to stop, what do I do then, I could have the same problem with will power in finding a job for instance. I'm worried that this could be a deeper psychological problem where I have no urge to do anything and cannot get anything done.

I came back home yesterday to think things through and to relieve the pressure for a few days, but the advice from my parents I don't think is helping, possibly making things worse. First of all they want me to try to push myself through harder, they feel I'm lacking will power, saying life isn't always easy kind of thing which has caused me a lot of anger and frustration. They've also said that if I can't make it though university, how am I going to make it through a job etc. and that I'm following my emotions too much rather than making real plans. However, they have also been talking more reasonably about things, discussing different options like doing something else and going back to a degree later and other things.

All in all I'm very frustrated and worried, I'm not sure what to think and am having doubts about everything and I'm starting to get desperate.

I would be very thankful for any comments or advice. Sorry about the length of this post, but I felt I needed to go into more depth.

[note: this is a sort of continuation from this thread I made earlier]

 I think you need an objective professional to help you explore two areas.  Firstly, you should find out if there are any underlying psychological conditions that could be preventing you from working to your fullest potential (such as depression, or something else like that).  Secondly, an objective professional could help you to explore in what area you should concentrate your studies.  I could be wrong, but have you been experiencing some confusion in that area?  A therapist could help you to understand what area you fit into most naturally - in fact the area where you would be the happiest and where you would be able to relax and work to your fullest potential

 Find a job you love and you will never have to work another day.

Faye:

 I think you need an objective professional to help you explore two areas.  Firstly, you should find out if there are any underlying psychological conditions that could be preventing you from working to your fullest potential (such as depression, or something else like that).  Secondly, an objective professional could help you to explore in what area you should concentrate your studies.  I could be wrong, but have you been experiencing some confusion in that area?  A therapist could help you to understand what area you fit into most naturally - in fact the area where you would be the happiest and where you would be able to relax and work to your fullest potential

Thanks for the advice. What exactaly do you mean by an objective profession though? I am confused about where to concentrate my studies, but more confused why it seems that all directions are negative for me.

I agree that it's worth getting a medical checkup of course, and talking to a therapist, but I suppose the first question I would ask is -- what you want to do with your life in general?

It is hard to put one foot in front of the other without any idea of your destination...

Stefan Molyneux:

I agree that it's worth getting a medical checkup of course, and talking to a therapist, but I suppose the first question I would ask is -- what you want to do with your life in general?

It is hard to put one foot in front of the other without any idea of your destination...

yes, I think this is perhaps the problem: I don't know what I want to do in the end. My family thinks that if I get a degree I'd have so many more options I'd be in a better position what ever, I don't know what I think.

 I could be mistaken, but do I sense some sort of hesitancy to consult a qualified therapist or counselor?  I'm sure there are qualified therapists and counselors on staff at your university who are very qualified in helping students to understand where they would best "fit" in the career world.  It is very common for young students to have questions about what their career destination should be.  As a matter of fact, adults often change their career destination in mid-life.  It is nothing to feel badly about, but something to approach and explore with curiosity.

 I have been thinking of you, and it seems that you just need a little help delineating what it is that you do most naturally, what it is that makes you "come alive".  This sounds to me like a fun investigation!

Faye:

 I could be mistaken, but do I sense some sort of hesitancy to consult a qualified therapist or counselor?  I'm sure there are qualified therapists and counselors on staff at your university who are very qualified in helping students to understand where they would best "fit" in the career world.  It is very common for young students to have questions about what their career destination should be.  As a matter of fact, adults often change their career destination in mid-life.  It is nothing to feel badly about, but something to approach and explore with curiosity.

I did see a therapist over the summer, but for some reason I didn't really get anywhere, we thought we got somewhere at the time but I don't think I really opened out properly. There's no harm to try someone else though.

Faye:

 I have been thinking of you, and it seems that you just need a little help delineating what it is that you do most naturally, what it is that makes you "come alive".  This sounds to me like a fun investigation!

I do actually have quite a passion for music, I suppose that is the thing which makes me "come alive", but I sort of dismissed any idea of doing at as a profession as the chances would be wildly against me, plus the time I spent studying it at university pushed me more into a creative block. Somehow university seems to ruin things for me.

I assume there could perhaps be many different areas or types of musical careers that you could explore?

There's a LOT of things you can do with music depending on what your area is.  What is your area by the way.  I'm planning on relying on music to make a living so I might be able to help, I hope.

Thanks, I would love to here any ideas people have.

The area which I'm best at and the one I love the most is musical composition. Unfortunately it is by far the hardest area to make money from. I've also had a creative block which has stopped me writing anything for a couple of years which has been incredibly frustrating.

Oh, you're definitely right about that. 

You could look into teaching music theory, music history, etc... maybe get your masters or PHD and become a college professor (I don't think being in acedemia is that bad).  I'm sure you have a vast knowledge of music that could be valueable to someone.

mmm, acedemia, for some reason I don't wont to go there, the whole system anoys me. I think just studing towards my degree pushed me into my creative block.

maybe I'll think about teaching privately, but tbh i don't think it's the direction I want to go.

I've been thinking a bit more about the problems I've been having, helped by some convos on the chat and skype, and I'm thinking perhaps that my relationship with my parents is at the heart of the issue.

The problem I'm having now is when I think about doing any work or think about getting to a lecture I get a strong emotion telling me "don't go there", and if I try to get down to the work a kind of haze drifts over and I'm unable to concentrate. Thinking back, this is exactly the same problem I had last year when I was studying music, the composition was the first to get effected, which makes sense being such a sensitive thing, and the rest followed on afterwards. Now both mathematics and music are things I'm interested in, things I could enjoy doing in my spare time anyway, so lack of interest has nothing to do with it.

But what I've been finding is that every time I speak to my parents I feel much much worse. They argue quite persuasively that I should keep going, either through saying that the consequences of stopping would be much worse, or trying to prove to me through things I said in the past that I should be enjoying it. They do also provide some helpful advice, like if I do decide to stop, I should tell the university it's down to illness rather than a personal choice because then if I do decide to go back later it would be much easier.

I don't know, but it seems to me that the relationship I have them is pretty variable and unstable, it's not quite like some people on the board who appear to have a purely negative relationship, but I think it might be having a bad effect on me when I consider the rage and depression which seems to follow each time I talk to them about this. So if I can sort something out with this, I might be able to work out what direction to go a bit clearer.

Do you think I'm on to something, or is this irrelevant to my situation?